Have you ever known people who fight, then get back together, fight then get back together… it’s like they live for make-up sex. They never seem to get out of the roller coaster cycle. They seem addicted to the drama, thinking passion is actually love. It’s not.
On the journey to more awareness and consciousness, it’s sure as hell better to be angry than hopeless, depressed and apathetic. At least you’re alive. Yet life sucks being angry, stressed, a victim and blaming. Not so sexy.
Yet once my clients (and me too) end the cycle of anger toward self or others, those judgments dissolved away, a relief comes that can feel boring. Literally our hormone receptors have been created and are seeking the ‘juice’ of an adrenal high, fight or flight, let me kill the tiger called my boyfriend. Let me ride the pleasure pain roller coaster one more time so I feel enough, chosen, valiant, alive.
God how exhausting.
Yet when the drama is gone and the relief passed, and it’s all quiet in the mind, and there’s no choice to blame self or others and your dramatic hormone receptors have died so you’re not craving drama or creating it… hum de dum dum… what the hell do you do with yourself?
I call this period the Void. The old you is gone and the new you is being birthed. You’re in the dark, the mystery, the unknown. It’s a time to be used with great self-care, reverence for your sweet self, walks in the woods, bathes, journaling to your sweet self, welcoming the molecules of the Universe to hold you, the sunshine to bathe you, the breeze to caress you.
Yes it’s not intoxicatingly addictively insanely dramatically adrenal freak out.
Yet trust me on this one… please trust me on this one… it’s like shifting from this shallow excitement to a rich JOY and PLEASURE that FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR outweighs any roller coaster high from before. Promise.
There is a new richness, an enthusiasm, an orgasmic joy that literally is like a breath of fresh air that enters your being. The courageous vulnerability to open all the way to you, allows you to open all the way to LIFE and another and WOW… such love, tenderness, kindness, caring, thoughtfulness, honor and connection is right there to enjoy. And wow… so much energy, it takes my breath away of the pleasure of being alive, being touched, being seen, being known… choosing an honoring partner to open more deeply than ever, choosing to let go into realms never before touched… and laughing! There’s so much joy for no reason! So much pleasure in the smallest things… like your skin is covered in tiny mouths open to tasting life!
It DOES get intense, juicy, delicious, enthusiastically alive with energy that doesn’t roller coaster, it builds and builds and expands and contributes and soothes and turns you on in a way you’ve always KNOWN is possible… we just don’t think boredom and responsibility is the passageway!
Be patient. You will get there. We can all get there. Release your judgments of self and other. Stop the drama, blame and victim games. Take responsibility and begin creating what really matters to you. Be reverently kind to yourself and soften your edges to welcome in the Universe’s support. And low and behold, soon you’re be turned on by being alive… seductively attractive to one who honors you the way YOU honor you.
Know I totally adore you, snuggles, Allana