Archive for For My Men!

Sexually Abused Spouse. How Can I Be Supportive?

Question: My wife suffered from sexual abuse as a child, and while she’s been fine most of our marriage, suddenly she’s developed panic attacks when we make love. How can I help her through this?

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Do I REALLY Need a Life Partner?

As we begin the new year, we make resolutions, promises, declarations to ourselves and the universe. New year, new life, new love, new you. Question is, do we believe all that we declare? Specifically, do we truly need a new love or is loving “You” enough?

There are a few signs to know when a life partner is not right for you:

YOU THRIVE ALONE: Signs that your partner is a contribution to your life, is that all OTHER areas of your life get better. Thus a sign that having a life partner (or THAT life partner) is NOT for you is that when you date/be exclusive/get married, all other areas of your life worsen, fall apart or suffer. Take a bird’s eye view and assess your situation honestly.

YOU’RE RESISTANT/UNWILLING TO MAKE SPACE: Everything in life either lifts you or depletes you. And everyone is wired differently. If you get cranky at the thought of having to share your home, your time, your closet, your money, your vacations, your evenings… then making space for a full time life partner isn’t right for you now, or at all. Honor what’s true for you.

YOUR PRIORITIES ARE ELSEWHERE: Relationships take time, energy, money and focus to thrive. If your priorities are on your career, your spiritual growth, your children as single parent… be bold and courageous enough to honor that and don’t string someone along, use them or lie to yourself just to be socially acceptable if you’re happier going it alone.

So what do you do now?

BE HONEST: Just because you may not desire a life partner, doesn’t mean you don’t desire sex! Be upfront, honest and truthful when meeting people so no one’s heart gets hurt or expectations crushed. Create a solid foundation of authenticity and allow yourself to ask for exactly what you desire: Do you want them to stay over? Do you want to engage in texting/emails/phone calls in-between sexual adventures? Do you desire gifts or public displays of affection when out? Do you require you or them sleeping with only one person at a time or are you OK with many partners at one time?

HONOR YOU: Take regular time to get clear inside with what’s true for you. Then be courageous and noble by communicating these truths to lovers. AND be willing to change your mind as you navigate life without a life partner in your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond… stay out of conclusion. Stay intimacy connected to YOU. You are amazing, unique… one of a kind 😉

Dating While Living With An Ex

Question: I am ready to get out there and start dating again; however, I am currently living with my ex.  We thought it would be better /cheaper to be roommates but how do we do this without it being awkward? I don’t want to hurt him but I want to move on with my life!

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Getting Over Fear of Rejection

Question: Ms. Pratt, I’m 40 and have never had a girlfriend/wife. I was in therapy , in which we have found the underlying issue for me is I grew up in an abusive household (father physically, verbally abused mother) so it’s hard for me to deal with unwanted adrenaline. Like your client, my fear of rejection is staggering. Not sure I’m the same as your client but I have Social Anxiety so bad it’s hard for me to be around people at all. Can you please talk about some techniques to deal with unwanted adrenaline and how to get over fear of rejection?? Thanks in advance.

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Your Past Relationships are not a Reflection of Your Worth


After two divorces, it became clear I was attracted to the wrong type of guy. First I was the damsel in distress- that marriage crashed and burned. Second time I decided to be in charge, my way or the highway, failure again- this time as a single motherless mom.

Thus I took on 15 yrs of study & began coaching men and women from around the world on experiencing true intimacy. I have learned one potent key: every relationship is an opportunity for growth and healing, yet it’s up to US if we step up, grow up and soar.

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Split Views On Sharing Bad News

Q: My husband and I have to put our dog down and we can’t agree on how to tell the kids.  I am agnostic and he is super christian.  We normally see eye to eye on things but this one is different.  He wants to tell the kids that the dog went to heaven and I just can’t back that.  I am more than happy to tell the kids that the dog is no longer in pain but he doesn’t believe that is good enough.  What should we do?

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