Be Peaceful: What? I’m so huge I can’t move! (or) The kid doesn’t stop crying! I haven’t slept in weeks!
I hear you! You are expanding in size, in life and in your relationship. You are in this together, so the next time you see your beloved, tickle them. I’m totally serious…have Pleasure. Smile and ask for what you need. A bath. A nap. Support each other to do small things that relieve stress: 10 minutes sitting under a tree listening to a guided meditation to drown out the crying, hit the crap out of a pillow and cuss like a sailor listening to a heavy metal song, dance slowly to some sultry songs to move your voluptuous body, even in the kitchen together while the bottles are warming…
Be Patient: What? Let go of control? When we’re totally triggered not knowing what the *&#% we’re doing here?
Yes. Breathe. Sink into that place beyond thinking, deep into your knowing, that place where you knew you wanted to marry this person… the place where you committed to diving into the mystery with your beloved. Then put down the child, the laundry or the cell phone, take a moment to look into each other’s eyes, imagine with a wink, that it’s 20 yrs later, the kid’s in college and you made it! Let that feeling make you exhale, shoulders drop, put your barriers down, maybe rub each other’s feet, suck a toe if you’re naughty… just be real together.
Be Provocative: What? Have you seen my extreme warfare bra? My granny undies & organs still out of place?
I get it, yet no need to be a victim, instead be deliciously creative. Wear washable tattoos on that voluptuous butt, find some fun sexy hair clips to make that unwashed hair look hot, get a pedicure and play footsy with his crotch at dinner, wear yummy lip gloss to feel sensual, play up your curves with low cut tops and keep dropping things whenever you’re around him. Nap time= Nookie time. And Nookie Time= whatever she wants, only snuggles, only massage, only talk, only oral, only copulation, only kissing… practice saying YES to what you can give authentically.
Be Potent: What? Have powerful energy when we’re sleep deprived? Are you crazy?
I don’t mean like the old push, force, and make it happen, energy. I mean making a demand of yourselves to do whatever it takes to stay connected. Dive deeper than you ever have before- take charge and plan a date night in the backyard, get the grandparents to babysit while you stay in a local hotel, take a nap while the kids are napping and say no to a work obligation so that you are more alive for your partner. Even be a demand to shave, put on perfume/cologne, sneak a note in their purse, briefcase or diaper bag that says ‘You Turn Me On… your leaky nipples are hot. I mean it.’ Don’t give up. Find out how powerful you really are.
Be Pleasured: What? I’m feeling knackered not naughty!
Have you ever heard success begets success? Well pleasure births more pleasure. The 10 second kiss in front of the kids totally rocks. Don’t walk by the other without a soft touch on the cheek, a cute slap on the butt, running your hand through their hair. Do what gives you pleasure so you’re not operating on fumes by the time foreplay is suggested; take turns with the kids or ask a friend to watch them while you walk in nature, hit the driving range, get a blowdry, read your kindle (erotic is fine! to each other preferably!) coffee/wine with a friend… fill yourself up so you can contribute to your partner and be contributed to… pleasure makes mama happy, and when mama’s happy…. xooxox