Archive for Dating!

From Devastated to Delicious…Life After Divorce

I remember when my husband and I separated, he went off to NYC to get laid for the weekend. Lovely. Then he married MY female financial advisor who found out a millionaire was on the loose. Ouch.

When my clients tell me war stories of him leaving her for a younger woman, her taking him to the cleaners, the betrayals, abandonment and cruelty that goes on, the first thing to help them out of stuck sorrow is to get angry.

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Restoring Intimacy in Communication and Life with Jeremy Ryan Slate

Speaking my truth is how I inspire others to live unapologetically, heart splayed open.  In my latest interview with Jeremy Ryan Slate, I discuss how to restore intimacy with your beloved via communication by learning to listen without judgment, love without expectation, and how vulnerability is the new sexy.

Listen here

Being a ‘challenge’ or playing ‘hard to get’

Question: Is Being a ‘challenge’ or playing ‘hard to get’ a good dating strategy?

Answer:  Honestly I cringe at the word strategy… it’s something I’ve worked hard to integrate in a healthy way. Strategy can be a cruel game or a series of choices that create a desired results. It can be motivated by fear or inspired by love.

Being easy is certainly not going to make you desirable! It’s important to honor your time, energy, body and life. You may be authentically busy with your kids or work and the only free night is next week. That’s not a game. That’s real.

You may LOVE sex yet choose to just enjoy a good night kiss for a few dates without sleeping with them. That’s not a game, that’s taking your time to see if you, your body, your heart and your priorities are all in alignment before you decided to have intercourse. That’s real.

However when you aren’t busy, but make him wait for weeks to see you… or when you only kiss to purposefully string someone along, be careful… if you are coming from fear based strategy to control another, then you aren’t being kind, honest or creating authentic connections. People are things, objects or possessions to own, manipulate or dominate. People are souls with hearts, feelings, insecurities and strengths. To me, honor begets honor. Kindness begets kindness. Intimate vulnerable open begets the same. And games beget games.

You want to have fun! You want to enjoy the chase! You want to savor the courting! Authentic coyness is great! Slowing revealing your true desires is seductive.

So embrace strategy as a love centered series of choices to create a desired result. If he calls Friday night asking what you’re doing that same night, say you’re busy (even if you’re busy watching a movie with your cat!) because I’d like a man to honor your time enough to call ahead. Asking him to step up, don’t play hard to get.

Symbolically or energetically, to score a ‘Queen’ is more challenging than to score a ‘Prostitute’, yes? And it should be because of the quality of experience a Queen will bring a man. She will awaken his masculine grandeur, ignite his legacy. Anyone can find someone to watch the ball game with.

Know your worth.

You are a Goddess.

Invite him to honor you and enjoy time with you.

When he does, shower him with your appreciation.

Be your lusciousness and radiance.

Savor being a sensual woman.

Be open to it getting better and better.

And if you ‘cave’ letting the fear of rejection or loneliness drive you to make choices you aren’t proud of, that aren’t aligned with your priorities, that make you easy, used or feel cheap, then please connect with me for a strategy session to heal this. Low self worth begets low self worth and we can often spiral downward into depression or hiding when we experience a series of unhealthy relationships.

This can turn around. You can honor your worth AND not play games AND attract someone who adores treasures and cherishes you. It would be my privilege to support you in having that… and more beyond your dreams. Contact my staff at admin@allanapratt.com or book your one-on-one private strategy session with me at www.AllanaPratt.com/strategy today.

You CAN have what you desire. Never give up on your dreams.

Great delicious love,

Allana

Dating While Living With An Ex

Question: I am ready to get out there and start dating again; however, I am currently living with my ex.  We thought it would be better /cheaper to be roommates but how do we do this without it being awkward? I don’t want to hurt him but I want to move on with my life!

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Getting Over Fear of Rejection

Question: Ms. Pratt, I’m 40 and have never had a girlfriend/wife. I was in therapy , in which we have found the underlying issue for me is I grew up in an abusive household (father physically, verbally abused mother) so it’s hard for me to deal with unwanted adrenaline. Like your client, my fear of rejection is staggering. Not sure I’m the same as your client but I have Social Anxiety so bad it’s hard for me to be around people at all. Can you please talk about some techniques to deal with unwanted adrenaline and how to get over fear of rejection?? Thanks in advance.

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Tired of the Taker

Question: My boyfriend is a taker.  He expects me to do everything in the relationship and if he does contribute, I never hear the end of it!  What’s the point of staying with him?
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