Are Any of You New Dads?
Dear sleep deprived heroes,
According to Health and Science April 1st issue, fathers
as with mothers, can suffer from postpartum depression,
which negatively affects how they treat their infants.
7% of men have suffered from MAJOR depression since their child’s birth.
They were 4x more likely to spank, 1/2 as likely to read to them.
And while 80% of Dad attend the babies’ wellness check ups,
the Dr’s don’t put DAD on the radar for a check in.
While you know I’m not a Dr., I do support a lot of new couples
to help get their intimacy back on track once the little one
(or ones) arrive.
The main cause seems to be that men feel inadequate, in the way,
not helpful, all thumbs, if the mom is nursing, they can’t bond
with the child and feel left out, unappreciated or praised by
the mother simply because she’s scared too! She’s sleep deprived
too! She may have boobs but also feels all thumbs at how to calm
the child. And she many times is just as empty and needing of
appreciation and praise as the Dad is.
First creating short yet regular times to connect, to touch.
A moment of praise.
A moment of acknowledgment.
Believe it or not, giving that which we don’t have actually
results in the experience of having it.
This is especially true when the parents BOTH engage in self
care, self nourishing practices.
A simple walk around the block.
Connect with a friend.
Engage in your favorite past time for 30 minutes.
Accomplish something small and give yourself great praise for it.
Lastly, in my experience as a coach, depression is usually hiding
In a healthy way with a therapist, coach like me, or even out in
nature (not at one another) let your anger be expressed.
It’s energy and needs somewhere to go.
Even journaling a hate letter (then burning it of course) can
do wonders for releasing stuck anger, lift the depression and give
you the boost to reconnect, focus on the good, tell your truth,
express your needs, praise one another and create a new groove
that works for you relationship as lovers and parents.
Deliciously yours, Allana