October 11, 2020 |

Top 5 Mistakes That Are Destroying Relationships Right Now

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The lockdown has many people questioning their relationships right now. Spending so much time together can lead to bickering, anxiety and stress. Intimacy Expert and Relationship Coach Allana Pratt, author of Finding "The One" is BS: Becoming "The One" is Brilliant & Beautiful, joined us to share her insight on the top mistakes that most commonly destroy conscious relationships in today’s climate.

1.You Neeeeed Them: You pretend you’re confident, but you really seek your worth in another’s approval and attention. Yet resisting being single and desperately seeking a partner to feel good enough ultimately pushes people away. Solution: Become the One To Find the One then ‘choose’ a partner as icing on the cake of your already awesome life

2. You Wait For Mr./Mrs. Trustworthy:
You vowed never to get hurt again so you wait to find someone perfect who won’t hurt you. Yet no one is perfect (including you). Thus your fear attracts your worst nightmare and you get hurt again. Solution: The only thing you can ultimately trust, is your own awareness. Be willing to see red flags and move on if they are unworkable. Otherwise give people the Grace yo u’d like them to give you.

3. You Hit Below The Belt:
You get triggered, you see red, you go for the ‘kill’ before you get ‘killed’. A glare, a passive aggressive comment or downright cruel emasculation then you feel shame and guilt or righteousness and blame. Solution: Do your inner work to heal your emotional wounds which allows you to stay present and heart open. Take a time out, then respectfully communicate with vulnerability and courage.

4. You Become A Know It All:
You’ve done therapy, a few workshops, read Eckhart Tolle you get a little arrogant, forget to be a humble student of life. You top ‘watering the plant’ of the relationship, expect perfection and blame your partner for everything. Solution: Add a dash of humility to your grandeur. Surrender to some soulful structure. Make time for communication, sex, alone time, friends, for personal growth workshops. Cultivate intimacy as a practice, not a destination.

5. You Hide Your Truth:
You start to really like them, become afraid to lose them, so instead you lose yourself! You tell white lies, you settle, squelch your truth, say you love running when you hate it then feel resentful or depressed. Solution: Create ME time to listen to your truth, your body’s wisdom, your heart’s whisper. Create a regular safe space to communicate truths with one another remembering it’s YOUR job to make you happy, not theirs.

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