S12 | Intimate Conversations – Become The One: Candid Confessions Phoenixes Don’t Rise from Checking Out
In this solo episode regarding sitting in the fire and feeling all the feels, I enjoyed answering your spot-on questions.
Q1: Allana, why do people bypass, it totally annoys me when they pretend they're over it, but clearly they're not.
A: Yes, I call it sprinkles on top of the ice cream cone of sh%t. I agree that it's highly annoying and yet underneath it all, they are terrified, so have compassion whether it's somebody else or you who is doing the bypassing.
The reason I mentioned you might be bypassing too, is that people tend to annoy me when they show me what I have NOT processed yet. When they show me what I HAVE processed, I feel compassion. Most of the time I'm humbled and have more work to do :-)
Q2: How do I know if I'm truly feeling or not, feeling it ALL or not, getting to the raw depth of the true emotion?
A: I have this beautiful, completely committed, shows up and does the work client who was confident she was in her body, yet she was not. She was in her head doing her best to figure it out, understand, justify, occasionally get defensive or blame in validated frustration. She really was trying so hard! Yes that's the word… trying…… she wasn't surrendering come as she still wanted to be in control. Her ego wanted to be right.
It was only after she and I did a VIP where she bravely felt past where she normally disassociates that she came home. And she was One with All. And it was exquisite.
Q3: How can feeling through the pain of heartbreak actually catapult my growth? It just feels like torture, what's the point of that?
A: Every single time for the past 20 to 25 years when a client authentically feels an emotion without trying to fix it or push it away, and they just allow the body and spirit to support their integration, they don't just eliminate the pain, they become powerful. They don't just eliminate the shame, they become unapologetic. They don't just eliminate the betrayal, they become the embodiment of forgiveness. They don't just eliminate fear, they become peace itself.
It's only torture because you're resisting the feeling. Granted feeling the feeling sucks for a little bit, But then integration feels like Home, Wholeness and Embodied Calm. Every time.
