Disabled Man Tired of Being Pitied
Question: Coach Allana, in regard to intimacy what advice do you have for a 35 yr old guy who’s in a wheelchair due to a mild case of cerebral palsy? I don’t want women to pity me or feel they have to take care of me, both of which generally happens to me. What can I do?
Answer: First, thank you for much for reaching out. I love that you desire to be looked at like a regular man, and not pitied. I totally get it.
One of the most annoying lessons of the Universe is that we always get what we don’t want. What we push against, we create and grow. What we resist persists.
Thus it seems you identify with being in a wheelchair, as anyone would, so much that you are having trouble just choosing to be you, just you, a man. You can't successfully choose NOT how something is… that way you create what you don't want. You can only successfully choose WHAT you desire, free from referring from the past circumstances.
It's like people saying I don't want to get audited, I don't want to get audited... and they get audited. Yet if they chose to file taxes with ease, compliance along their merry little way each year... they would most likely never hear from the IRS. Did that make sense?
There is another element that could be subconsciously sabotaging you… a hidden fear. For example, if women don’t pity you or take care of you, will they pay attention to you at all? There may be an unconscious part of you that likes attention, any attention... and would prefer being pitied than ignored. So it’s like one foot’s on the gas and the other is on the break.
Basically every man and every woman has SOME aspect of self they want to change or hide on some level… too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too rich, too poor, never been married, married 3 times, etc. yes? Thus EVERYONE has a choice to date trying NOT to get rejected for something… and yet that very resistance calls forth their worse case scenario!
A common example are my clients with STDs… they don’t want someone to judge them for it and they attract someone that literally runs out of the bedroom when they find out! Or clients without STDS who DON’T want to get an STD no matter what!!!!! And voila, they get one.
The answer is first come into equilibration or balance with that which you resist… being in a wheel chair with mild cerebral palsy.
Second is to stop wanting things to stop… and start choosing what you desire with no mention of what you don’t want.
Third is to be in allowance of other people’s stuff and not resist it, don't cringe in the face of it, just be in total allowance of it, or just ignore it.
Fourth is to practice practice practice until you meet someone who sees YOU as you see YOU.
She’s out there. Your inner work will eventually align your vibrations to meet.
Perhaps the hardest step for you is allowance of other people’s stuff, their judgements and conclusions, yes?
Here’s the deal… no one’s judgment sticks or hurts if we don’t judge ourselves in that area on some level. So the inner work to come to peace with yourself, release the past, love yourself unconditionally, define your from the inside out, see the gift in your challenges… THIS is the key and THIS is the work I teach in my complimentary report for men called How To Be A Noble Badass… start there great man.
My second recommendation once you’ve read that is to invest in my 4th Book called "7 Steps to Manifest Your Beloved While Staying True to Yourself…" You can download Chapter 1 at no charge, my gift to you right now, at www.AllanaPratt.com/7steps to make sure it resonates. It takes you through a proven process to remove all blocks to attracting your ideal mate.
LMK your thoughts, I’m here for you.
Huge love, A oxox
