Intimacy Expert Reveals Her Radical Relationship Secrets | Allana Pratt | David T.S. Wood
Intimacy Expert Reveals Her Radical Relationship Secrets - What is true intimacy? How do you get right with your “wobbly” self? What is your wobbly self? Relationship and intimacy expert Allana Pratt joins David in this episode of My Extra Mile for a conversation about intimacy in its truest form. She takes a deep dive into learning how to become “whole.” She shares how to have dyadic conversations with your significant other. Allana even walks through one of her signature meditations and talks about her new “dating” app. Don’t miss this episode! You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in...
● What is true intimacy?
● How to get right with your “wobbly” self
● Sexual energy is sacred lifeforce energy
● How to have a dyadic conversation
● The journey to being “The One”
● What does becoming “whole” mean?
● Allana’s signature meditation: The “Little You”
● Learn all about Allana’s app: HeartMates
How to have a dyadic conversation
Allan shares that the idea of a dyad is to put aside 45 minutes to an hour once a week to create a safe space to just have a conversation where everything is sacred to talk about. You ask each other these questions
● Tell me something you like about me?
● Tell me something you think we align on?
● Tell me something you’re afraid to tell me? Tell me something you want me to understand? The third question can always change.
The other person can only say “thank you.” There is no judgment. The conversations can take you anywhere. Relationships aren’t about total agreement. They aren’t about control. They’re about being understood. Being an active listener is being willing to let your opinions change. These conversations and relationships allow the other to have a safe space to be who they are. It is love without conditions. Allana knows you’ll be amazed at the depth of intimacy that evolves. The journey to being “The One”
Growing up, Allana’s dad was always drunk and stoned. So, she spent her life looking for a man to save her. She was looking to find the “one” to complete her. After two failed marriages, she realized that the only commonality was herself. She was still seeking approval from the outside in to be okay with herself. She never gave herself the approval she had been seeking.
Allana emphasizes that when you go into a relationship from “empty” looking for someone else to complete you, your insecurities meet one another’s insecurities and it’s a train wreck waiting to happen. It doesn’t work. But what if two “wholes” came together? You complement one another, you don’t complete each other. You become greater than the sum of the parts.
It is your job to complete yourself. It is your job to heal the wounds of your past. It’s your job to make the very worst the very best. Whole mates stand beside one another. You give from the overflow to your partner. That overflow spills into humanity. You uplift others. The world needs more heart-mate couples. What does becoming “whole” mean? What does it look like? Listen to learn more. Allana’s signature meditation: The “Little You”
Are you seeking approval from other people? How do you stop looking for external validation? It starts on the inside. Allana points out that when we do inner integration work, it involves our thoughts, images, emotions, and body sensations. All four need to be fully integrated so your brain and nervous system transform. Have a dialogue with your “little you.” What do the “little you” need? What are you doing to feed his or her hunger for connection?
Instead of trying to “fix” yourself, have a dialogue with yourself. Your “little you” can say “You call me fat!” and you have to say “I hear you, thank you. What else?” You have to find rapport with yourself. Soon, that dissociated part of you will start to trust you. You will always have your back. You develop humility and dignity. That is attractive. It’s a powerful exercise.
Allana shares about her dating app as well as another practice you can do morning and night to become your most congruent self. Don’t miss this episode, where David and Allana talk about how to “Become the one, to find the one, to keep the one.” Resources & People Mentioned
