November 19, 2018 |

Tips for Supporting a Low Self-Esteem Woman

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Question: Coach Allana, we all know women have low self esteem at some point in their lives. What is the best and safest way for a man to navigate these moments, and be and show support?

Answer: I appreciate your question so much for I really sense you care about this woman.

A couple things to be aware of... I don't want you to believe or act in any way that you are superior than she is. Everyone has doubts from time to time, that doesn't make them less than, just makes them human. So be sure to check any savior complex energy at the door and be the space of non judgment, noble badass humility.

Second, she doesn't need fixing any more than you or I do... you seeing her low self-esteem as something to change only makes her feel rejected or condescended towards... just love her as she is. Get her. Listen without fixing. Just seek to understand.

Next, the idea the you'd ask about safety presupposes that either she behaves in a volatile way, or you perceive women as volatile or you watched a similar dynamic in your family home or the way you've attempted to navigate women with low self esteem in the past has pissed them off so you need to be 'careful'.

Kindness generally doesn't require a safety plan. Nor does simply listening. It's like you're creating your worse case scenario by your fear of it. What if you began to let go of there being something wrong, let go of needing to do it 'right' to be 'safe' and just felt in your body and saw in your mind's eye a peaceful supportive connecting experience?

Releasing fears and doubts, dissolving limiting beliefs, healing emotional traumas and eliminating emotional triggers is deep work, not just positive affirmations. I call that sprinkles on an ice cream cone of Sh&%. It provides temporary relief yet the problem still remains and over time grows.

Your care is phenomenal. Your way of caring is ready for upgrading into an even more effective approach which will no doubt enhance all relationships in your life... first with yourself, second with your beloved, third with family, fourth with work... even fifth with money, your purpose... for we are in relationship with EVERYTHING!

A great place to further learn about how to BE the man who navigates emotional storms with presence and centeredness, making YOU the man who makes her feel safe and inspires her to evolve because you don't judge her would be my 4th book. Enjoy the first chapter as my complimentary gift and have instant access to these keys at

Thank you again for your willingness to support her... you are such an inspiration, gratefully, Allana xoxo

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