How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection
Question: You’ve mentioned "Standing in your fire" a few times. Do you have a video going into that? What I’m most curious about is what questions I can ask myself to uncover the fiery, hidden parts of myself I haven’t faced yet.
Answer: This is such a brave wonderful question :-) So many people have no interest in sitting in the fire and they'd rather take an antidepressant, go on Facebook or have a drink. I'm really inspired :-)
Sitting in the fire is about when an intense emotion arises such as fear or sadness or anger or shame or guilt or anxiety or something uncomfortable... that you welcome it, rather than push it away.
You get curious, rather than judge it.
You invited rather than rejected.
Yet it's intense, right? It doesn't necessarily feel good, yes?
I get it. Breathe.
And what if you could lower the significance or importance of the emotion and instead think of the emotion as a part of you or an aspect of you that would like to give you a gift or a message... then it can become easier to sit in the fire and begin to bring home, embody and evolve this part of you.
You can welcome anger through to the message of action is desires you to take.
You can welcome sadness through to the capacity for empathy it desires you to awaken.
You can welcome shame through to the releasing of your worth based on accomplishments, failures or other people's opinions of you.
You can welcome your naughty wild side... your wobbly uncertain side... any part of you can require sitting in the fire.
Another way to find the hidden parts of you that you haven't faced yet would be to become aware of qualities in others that make you jealous or highly judgmental. Whenever somebody does something that triggers us, it's a non-processed part of ourselves waiting to be welcomed to home.
Who pisses you off? Who do you wish you were like? These are portals to hidden parts of yourself. We all are the same limitless beings of choice... Just not all of us awaken and choose to be our fullest selves.
Last great man, it's not so much about the questions you ask yourself... although it would be wonderful to ask, What hidden parts of myself can I embrace to be the total thriving being I am designed to be?
It's more about feeling. It's been my experience as an Intimacy Expert for almost two decades that it's not the mind's logic or cognitive analysis that will awaken our hidden parts.
Our shadows are hiding in our wounded Heart, our timid Soul, are rejected Emotional Self that responds more to feelings, sensations and knowing rather than logical thoughts or analytical assessment.
An inexpensive consistent reliable way to uncover these together would be to join me weekly on my Ask Allana Live Q&A chat on Patreon. It's a safe way in a private community to explore our shadows, sit in the fire, get real and have some fun awakening to our best selves for thriving intimate relationships. It's only $9.99/mo. I invite you to join the conversation and community at http://AllanaPratt.Com/join .
Blind spots are called blind spots for a reason... and I have a coach because I can't see my blind spots either!
Thus having someone experienced, professional, non-judgemental and unconditionally loving to point out areas of expansion, growth and blind spots... is the safest and most effective way to embrace your shadows and integrate them in a thriving noble badass way :-) It would be my privilege and I look forward to chatting with you each week about this and more!
Huge blessings, Allana xoxo
