April 29, 2019 |

How to Cope With What Could Have Been

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Question: I just lost the love of my life. I have been waiting to marry this woman for 10 years. I waited for her after her first marriage but we lost touch and she married again. I waited for her after she left her husband but he fought the divorce and we could never be together. Now she has passed away and I don't know what to do with my life. We made so many plans for the future, she was my sun and my entire life revolved around her. What do I do with myself now? How do I rebuild? I am so lost.

Answer: First and foremost I'm so very sorry you just lost the love of your life. The grief must be devastating and I send you my deep compassion and condolences.

I'm inspired by your commitment to rebuild your life. Thank you for vulnerable bravery to reveal that you feel lost.

What I believe is going on is that you are more than just grieving, you are out of balance with where you find happiness and fulfillment.

I sense you've put too much of the source of your happiness outside of you, and not enough of the source of your happiness internally.It seems like your feeling of being lost is more than just the recent loss due to her death. This seems to have been going on for a decade where you've been waiting to be happy until she's with you.I am sure she was amazing. Yet happiness is a choice moment-to-moment that is always found within us that we share with another but it is not sourced in another.

So in a way she has given you a gift. This can be seen as a beautiful albeit raw time of evolution for your soul, a time of spiritual growth to begin taking actions moving forward towards more joy in your life based on your internal Soul's guidance.

Another way of saying that it is time for you to harness your vision and mission and live your purpose as a man, as a human on the planet... which will bring you great satisfaction enjoy. And then in time when you're ready and if you choose, you will be your authentic self and your vibration will attract an ideal partner with whom to share your life.

Have you ever heard the saying, A man is not a plan? Same for you ;-) SHE is not your purpose.In all transparency when I truly believe someone's question can be solved in a book or a home study program, I recommend that.

However given this has been a decade-long pattern and given your heart is so wounded that you feel lost, I do believe a mentor would be the perfect healthy professional partnership you require to do the deep inner work so that you you find your SELF. You will no longer feel broken like you need to rebuild... instead you feel home in your heart and capable of creating anything you choose.

If this kind of coaching partnership resonates with you as well, I invite you to register for a discounted $97 introductory coaching session with me at and let's confirm indeed if you're a fit for me to invite you to work with me.

This way her memory can be wind in your sales of your ship, yet you're willing to leave the harbor for new lands and limitless possibilities embracing your own noble masculine grandeur.

All my love and blessings, Allana

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