Ex-Wife and Current Girlfriend Talk About Me!
Well, I agree this isn't supportive behavior! I hear you that this is crossing the line… it would be very difficult to feel anything other than defensive toward this behavior. They are certainly not setting you up to win.
On the one hand how marvelous that you still connect with your ex wife and that she and your current girlfriend talk. However if that relationship is one where they gang up on you... then it's detrimental not a contribution to your life. Indeed we have an opportunity here to create some change! Namely more effective direct honoring respectful communication.
However perhaps that's why you completed your relationship with your ex wife, that she didn't honor your boundaries or spoke behind your back? Yet have you attracted your wife again in another body? In fact are they both really your mom's energy?
Great man, if you were to stand bold and centered, grounded and heart open… how could we see this as a gift?
Is your ex wife is accurate that your mother's behavior didn't bring out the best in you?
Did that in any way contributed to your divorce?
Is the Universe attempting to support you even though it's being presented in a challenging package?
I'm not saying talking behind your back works... it doesn't.
I'm saying I sense a pattern of unhealthy dynamics between you and women.
Here's why... if you've truly healed your issues with your mother and truly healed your issues with your ex wife… than nothing either of them would say or do, would take you off your center. You wouldn't react. Your nerves wouldn't be tried. You could just laugh it off with lowered importance and not being attached to the result, yes? Or you'd receive their comments as constructive criticism and do your part to grow, evolve and make up for the damage done.
However you're getting triggered, taking offense and getting defensive which says to me that there's still a wound that hasn't been healed, some past wounds that still haven't been processed, yes?
Perhaps 3rd time's the charm with your mom come a your ex and now your girlfriend… you deserve to be honored and respected. You deserve the people in your life to speak directly with truth, honesty and an open heart. And that requires you be able to stay present, not justify or avoid, but sit in the fire, take responsibility and mature into a noble badass.
It takes guidance and practice to get you to a place where you don't react to what people say, where you're centered in your truth, where everyone takes responsibility for their own growth, where people make up for any damage done, where the relationships around you are a contribution...
Yet the good news is when we have a healthy intimate relationship with ourself… then all the other relationships in our life fall aside or fall in to place!
A great resource would be my most recent book 7 steps to manifest your beloved while staying true to yourself… I know you've already manifested your girlfriend… yet the beloved I'm really talking about is you;-)
I'm not saying your ex is accurate about your mom babying you... yet if there is a stitch of truth in that... someplace inside you, you may wonder if you have what it takes to risk, to fall down and get back up, to fail and still be worthy of love. You may have never discovered how powerful you truly are yet want no one to know how uncertain you really are.
Each chapter of my book takes you through a proven recipe to let go of the past, release anger in a healthy manner, connect to little you inside so that you can be centered and present and heart open with your relationships. You will experience confidence, courage and a lowered importance or attachment to results that make it very safe for people to be with you. It makes you even more attractive and able to create a thriving lasting relationship.
It could even be a great read for you and your girlfriend together on date night and a format in which to share intimate vulnerable truths and become even more connected. Ask and really listen to what she means about having to put her foot down. Don't agree or disagree, defend or justify... just seek to understand and listen.
If this is a pattern my dear friend, and you've already had one divorce about it, I encourage you to handle it now to give you the greatest chance of success in this relationship with your girlfriend. I encourage you to register for a discounted $97 introductory session with me that could turn into flourishing couples sessions with your girlfriend or some deep inner healing work just for you.
Regardless, you are creating your life.
And you can create any thing you desire that I thought including a healthy thriving intimate relationship.
I say this uncomfortable circumstance is a gift waiting to unwrap on the way HOME to your best self.
It's my honor and pleasure to support you in doing so.
Great love XOXO Allana
