December 18, 2018 |

3 Ways To Get Her To Stop Trying to Change You

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Question: I met this beautiful woman and things have been incredible but I feel that she is slowly trying to change me. She makes suggestions here and there but they have become more intense/demanding lately. She fell for me when we first got together, when did I start not being good enough?

Answer: Isn't it fantastically annoying how we are often attracted to a person with our exact issue... At first adoring that unique quality about them... Yet eventually ripping them up one side and down the other because it's the very part of us we haven't learned to forgive or evolve?

For example, sometimes people who are more conservative or proper are attracted to bad boys or bad girls... it's because a part of them wishes to be set free. Yet when push comes to shove, there's way too much internal shame, judgement and upsetting the status quo to actually embrace TRUE freedom of expression... so instead of sitting in the fire and evolving, they blame and reject the other who they were initially attracted to.

Make sense? This may be happening here...

I imagine there is something about you that is highly attractive to her because it's something she strives to either be herself or allow herself to have in her life or partnerships. But after being with you for a while... What it's going to take in her to allow that... What it's going to take in her to have that... What it's going to take to be that free or open or certain or expressive or alive or bold or whatever it is about you... What it's going to take for her to embrace that inner self is just too much. So instead of awakening this potential in herself... she's blaming you.

In fact the very opposite thing may be happening in you towards her!

Given we can't change her and you're the only one asking for support, what we can do is ask you to BE WHO YOU ARE and not change, and to invite her to be an allowance of Who You Are and Who She Is.

We can ask her to engage in a phenomenal communication technique called Dyads that are in Chapter 5 of my fourth book, 7 steps to manifest your beloved while staying true to yourself, so that the two of you can get deeply connected rather than blaming each other. It's through curiosity and non-judgement that you will be able to cross this next bridge in your relationship

Nothing's wrong here. Relationships are meant to help you grow and evolve. It's just that most people stop when things get tough and judge each other and break up.

Instead of blaming her or wanting to change her... I encourage you to deepen your curious communication and see what the gift is here for both of you. You can download the first chapter of my book for free to be sure you like it... or Purchase the book or audiobook or combo here.

You have attracted someone to help you forgive them and stand free in your authentic self. It's very possible you had overly demanding parents and she's your gift to be set from of your past to be the man you're destined to be.

I'm confident that this Relationship is a gift.

Huge blessings, Allana

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