Q: My husband is no longer sexually attracted to me. I gained a few pounds with our little girl and he is used to my pre-pregnancy body. How can I be in a marriage if my husband is not attracted to me?
A: Gorgeous sister!!!!
Ok first, you are gorgeous, with a few extra pounds or not. It’s called ‘voluptuous’. Own it. Love, our organs friggen take 6 months to head back to their old locations! We’re not sleeping much, stressed trying to keep this little alive and it’s challenging! Please be kind to yourself and LOVE your voluptuous body AS MUCH as you loved your pre baby body. This is HUGE in having HIM love your body.
Still wear undies that make you feel good. Still shower. Still wear funky clothes and show your even bigger boobs off. Still put music on when you clean up around the house and be sure to dance and have a blast being alive with your little girl! Get messy and play outside the lines and show him a woman who is alive, radiant and loving life!
Also check in, are you emotionally eating? Have you dropped going to the gym? Are you not honoring your body as much as you could? Are you not honoring the gorgeous sexual creature you are? Have you stopped initiating sex? Have you stopped flirting with him? Do you still feel his muscles while he opens the pickle jar for you? Are you still interested in him or has your attention only gone to your little girl, making him feel less important, second in priorities, no longer the apple of your eye? What could you do to make him feel desired again?
Time to plan date night. Time to plan MOMS night out. Time to encourage him to have time with GREAT men who challenge him. Time to get some fresh sexy undies no matter what your size now. Time to shift your eating a wee more healthy and take that daughter out for a stroll or sign up for mommy and me yoga. Time to initiate sex with that man and let’s just see if he still thinks this goddess of voluptuousness is not sexy. I sense it may be the only power he thinks he has to coverup the little boy inside who feels rejected.