I’ll call them Sandy and Joe. Joe couldn’t slow down enough to be truly present and intimate with Sandy. Sandy’s frustrations about this made her feel lonely within the marriage and her dissatisfaction pushed Joe further away. Joe’s heart was so emasculated from his past marriage that if she was upset, he couldn’t really hear her without tuning out in fear. Sandy was angry that she left her job to be at home to be with Joe more, yet she felt ignored or abandoned by his lack of intimate connection.