I’m Afraid of Commitment, Yet Want to Be Married- Help!
You asked Allana, “I have a problem with commitment but I would love to be married some day. How on earth can I find the one if I don’t want to settle down?”
My love, one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake is only going to frustrate and exhaust you! Let’s start to define what you’re making commitment mean… as perhaps with a fresh perspective, you could actually create a relationship beyond your imagination that includes both freedom and intimacy.
Most guys are afraid that commitment means never having sex with another woman again. In monogamous relationships, that’s true. Yet that doesn’t mean you have to choose that yet… enjoy savoring wonderful women and communicate that you’re not looking to settle down yet while learning what you choose and don’t choose in a partner. Of course you could also create a polyamorous relationship although there aren’t as many women into that, yet it is an option.
Perhaps you think commitment means you’ll have to give up guy time, or your legacy, or time alone… ONLY if you don’t create a deal first. What if you both get to know each other, fancy each other a lot, and begin to talk about how to each be in allowance of who each other is… and integrate that INTO the relationship? Like she doesn’t give up yoga. And you don’t give up hockey games. And she doesn’t give up nights out with the girls. And you still have your yearly guy trip. Get the picture? You’ll have to honor each other, include each other in one schedule, introduce each other to each other’s worlds… yet with respect, you can let the other know of an event/class/trip you’d like to take… so that they can plan something lovely on their own or with their friends. Don’t give up YOU just cuz you’re married.
I think it’s pretty normal for men to want to focus on adventure and growth of their business at a time when women are watching the clock tick wanting a child… it’s a cruel joke of nature… yet if you can find someone with whom the sex is great, who handles their money well, who thinks what you’re about is super cool and doesn’t try to change you, and you don’t change her… then what if settling down one day is even better than being single?
What if you did the inner work to feel free in your being, to be able to speak your truth and not be afraid of what other’s think or say? What if you promised your Soul that you’d both have self love and love of another and have it be your spiritual practice? What if the intimacy shared and the connection build fueled your legacy even more than it could alone, all the while never neeeeeeeding her… choosing her to be your partner?
This is big deal. And a great question. And worth time to go inside or you may end up marrying someone who isn’t a great match then getting divorced, all unnecessary pain… or you’ll wait until you’re too old and not as attractive a package… there is a sweet spot with timing just for you and I’d love to help you find that. That way you can be fully self expressed alive and vibrant knowing who you are and what you desire, holding nothing back in life, carpadiem! Seize the day! Resonate? Let’s talk. www.AllanaPratt.com/strategy You owe it to yourself to not hide your grandeur or waste your precious life force energy and masculine grandeur spinning in your head. Can’t wait to connect.