Do I need to be friends with my BF’s hubby to keep my relationship with my BF?

Question: My best friend got married and her new husband and I got along at the beginning. Now, it has been about two years and every time she wants to visit – he is conveniently busy. It doesn’t matter what it is, he somehow finds a way to disappear. Do I need to be friends with him too to keep my relationship with my best friend?

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Answer: This is curious and I trust your awareness that something’s up or has changed. Yet honestly, I wouldn’t let it bother you. It’s preferable of course that everybody’s one big happy family and yet that’ not really realistic, is it? He could come over and it would be strained or uncomfortable… this way he’s not around and you two have girl time.

There must be something you trigger in him, perhaps you’re super confident, you are highly intuitive, maybe he’s shy, or maybe simply your styles of humor are different and he’s not his best self around you. That’s cool. That’s his stuff.

I wouldn’t make your friend wrong about it. I wouldn’t take it personally. Just be in allowance and let it all go. Hell, maybe he’s super turned on by you and wants to honor his wife by staying away! Maybe he hates your cooking!

What’s important is that your friend is happy. And that your relationship with her keeps growing and expanding. See if you can expand your heart even wider than before and love her even if her husband doesn’t want to hang around you.

Lastly, and I’m not saying this is happening… yet if you are highly intuitive, and you smell a rat a mile away, and he’s using your friend, having an affair on her, stealing from her etc. and he senses you’re onto him, this might make him avoid you… this is highly unlikely and no need to look for something that’s not there… just stay in your heart open awareness and all will unfold as it’s meant to.

All my love,
Allana

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