I Can’t Stop Thinking About My Ex

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Question: My greatest challenge for the last two months has been working on letting go of my former girlfriend, but I haven’t had much success. I have been reaching out but I haven’t found much solace in doing so. I am hoping you can help.

Answer: Having read through your questionnaire answers, I can boil down your problem to one thing – showing up. Your balls, committment, your masculine nature. It seem to me that you are experiencing being a tree with no roots – one foot in, one foot out. Any time you are not fully present, not fully committed, not fully in integrity, not fully showing up – you are not going get a fully awesome life or relationship. What you put in and what you get out. You yearn for a woman that treats you right with reciprocity but are you treating yourself right?

Look at your goals – it has been 8 months to get a job and you only seek $25k – maybe you are worth more, maybe it will take more. Maybe you need to show in a way you have never show up before. Maybe you need to ask where you are afraid of being rejected, maybe you need to own your worth a little more. Maybe that has something to do with the quality of woman that you attract because if a guy is not willing to do whatever it takes, to handle what needs to be done, to show up, he is not that attractive; thus, you will not be able to attract a woman that will believe in you and be there for you and support you because you are not supporting you.

Ask yourself why you are only a 8 out of 10 for commitment. What is in the way of you loving yourself so much that you are willing to show up and do whatever it takes. What is the fear? Why is the fear of it not working out the first time, people’s opinions of you – what’s stopping you? The outcome of dealing with that very core issue will probably get you a job – and a very good one! It will probably get you a woman – and a great one; but not until you start treating yourself with that level of respect and intensive focus and commitment – you matter! Have a good look at the part of you that doesn’t want to show up as a 10 and close that gap! Show up for you, show up for a job – then showing up for a woman would be effortless and enjoyable as she fuels you from glory.

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In terms of how I can support that journey, coaching is always the best but I really ask you to get on the Man Cave. One potent call a month, live with me, get on the line with me. You’ve got to show up somewhere so show up with someone who is unconditionally loving – like me, who’s totally gonna kick your ass, who totally doesn’t judge you; but is not going to pretend that you are a victim because you are not. You are a noble badass but you have to choose it. I think this is an inexpensive, consistent way to hold you accountable.

I’m ready when you are,
Allana

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