My Man is My Altar
So my dating world has been delicious yet challenging.
The man I had dated this past 5-6 weeks turns out to be charming, generous and debonaire, and yet not masculine enough for me sexually, sensually, physically.
I don’t know if I did a crappy job in expressing myself or if it’s something a man would be unable to hear without getting defensive, yet the completing conversation was not the usual one of blessing and release.
Went to my woman’s group, felt nourished, heard and validated for my feelings of disappointment and had a healthy cry on the way home,one of yearning for my man, one of pride that I continue to show up, learn and let go if it’s not Him.
I got home and usually sit in front of my alter for Relationship, light a candle, journal, pull a card from my Goddess deck and call it a night.
I decided to imagine instead that I was literally at the knees of my Beloved, writhing and dancing in my sensual fullness for him… and it occurred to me through my tears and sobs that HE is the Alter I want to be devoted to on the physical plane. I want his gaze to hold mine and allow me to open wider than I can on my own. I want to spill my luscious light onto him and have his rock solid gaze drink me in, hold me, penetrate me.
I realized that He is really MY Divine Masculine within, the masculine part of All that Is. I am worshipping fullness, union, oneness… me in my Feminine matching my Masculine. I had this surreal experience of meeting myself. Acknowledging I’m enough. I AM.
Very powerful. Humbling. Grounding. Softening. I bless you on your journey of relationship wherever you are.
Deliciously yours, Allana>