Making Lemonade out of Lemons ~ The Tough Choices of Motherhood
So let’s be brutally honest. Motherhood is the best ever AND the hardest ever, yes? Those tough choices of Motherhood! I now know why my cultured classy mom, who loved the opera and had this Christmas ornament earring & broach set she’d wear every Holiday season… would choose to relieve stress with her favorite saying, “Shit F’ck God Damn Bugger Bugger Damn.”
She’d say it. We’d blush. Or laugh under our breath. She’d straighten her blouse, clear away the hair from her face, get back on the horse and carry on.
Brilliant really. I mean just say it. Don’t you feel better?
I used that line last month with my son. Legally, I didn’t get him until Friday at 2:00 pm for a two week vacation to Canada. Yet he texted me at 8:30 am on Thursday morning saying he wanted to be with me. That when he asked Dad, he only yelled at him more. He needed out, was scared. I was in San Diego and he was in LA. I had 4 coaching calls and a radio show to do. Yet none of that matters when your child is at risk.
I asked if he needed a friend or my lawyer to come get him. He said “no, just get here quickly and that he’d be deleting these texts so that Dad didn’t get more mad.” I’m freaking out, feeling powerless AND feeling like a mother bear so I started to take action, emailing appropriately through the online court appointed software that our son had requested to be with me and I was driving to LA now and please don’t punish him more for requesting what he needs. I also emailed and cc’d the lawyer and therapist.
I did my first three coaching calls driving to LA offering additional sessions for free if we got cut off or if I was unable to provide exceptional coaching giving I was multitasking.
My son said they’d be in Culver City. An hour outside I texted. Nothing. 30 minutes out, nothing. I’m passing by Culver City. Nothing. I drive past Culver City to his home another 45 minutes down the road when I get a text that they just left for Culver City and to come get him there.
I KNOW I’m being toyed with. I KNOW my son is scared. I GET the game. So I ask for an address. It’s a restaurant that doesn’t have a location in Culver City. And the father doesn’t know the address. Telling me to figure it out or call his lawyer. For the next hour I continue to request a location and address and it takes me pulling into a police station to request an officer’s help to get him to finally give me the address. Then another 45 minute drive with the father texting me ‘lovely’ things. I finally pull up, there he is with our son. My son gets in the car. We both exhale. We did it.
I say, “Guess what Grandma Gwen would say right now? Shit Fuck God Damn Bugger Bugger Damn.”
He laughs. Then bursts into tears. Dad says it’s all my fault. No it isn’t love. He’s just mad at me cuz we’re leaving for two weeks. It has nothing to do with you.
We get into what’s now rush hour traffic… a parking lot on the 405 on our way to a hotel that we’ll stay in for the night, yet he’s forgotten his Bear at his Dads. We risk it and drive by the house to pick up Bear while my radio show is starting… yes, I’m not in the studio, I’m in my truck and so my son and I sing a song to open the show… Stand by Me.
Thank GOD my guest was so cool and totally went with it. I pulled into the shade of a nearby park, got my son to put in his earbuds with his PS Vida on loud, and I talked sex and feminine empowerment for the hour show.. crying, laughing and being authentic about this challenging day. My son and I sang at the end of the show as well… and the words of the song made sense…
“When the night is calm, and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light you’ll see… no I won’t, be afraid, no I won’t be afraid, just as long, as you stand, stand by me.”
I cried again. No, I won’t ever give up until I create peace and thriving for me and my boy. I will always be there for him. I will make lemonade out of lemons, come hell or high water. And I will pray and ask for help and take every action required. And always be grateful for the gift of being his Mom. Knowing my mom smiles as I swear… and is the wind in my wings when I fall, and when I soar…
While some people believe my vulnerable sharing of my challenges has somehow made my capacity to coach diminished, I thank them for that point of view and expand even wider knowing quite the contrary. My capacity to coach has deepened for I hide nothing, I don’t contract, I open wider, more potently in non judgment and demand of myself whatever is required for a thriving reality… thus for clients I have total unconditional love and non judgment for whatever situation they’ve created… AND with knowing that anything is possible, and the unwillingness to give up until they are soaring. I can’t imagine anyone better to have your back than me in fact!
So if you’re a mom with challenges, start with my book, The Missing Handbook to Motherhood to feel the unwavering support, listening and inspiration empowerment for you to create a life of thriving for you and your family. I’ve got your back. And believe in you when you doubt. And celebrate you exactly as you are.
Grab yours here: https://allanapratt.com/product/missing-handbook-to-motherhood/
Sending you delicious love, Allana xoxoox>