I Started To Question, Maybe I Really Was A Slut.

I Started To Question, Maybe I Really Was A Slut.

I started to question, maybe I really was a slut.
WTF? I just keep leaking! I’m a big mushball of tears after seeing Sheila Kelley’s video of Ali and her baby.
I am immediately brought back to the courage it took for me to be the Sexy Mom. I got license plates for a year saying “Sexy Mum” (that’s how we say it in Canada) and I held my head high until the judgments started, the women pulling away, the men’s leaching energy and my sexiness… my radiance… my light… my tenderness… my creative juicy joy of being alive… I put all of her away.
I put her away.
I did that.
I just didn’t know how to keep shining.
I felt soooo alone.
Started to question maybe I really was a slut.
Maybe this whole sexy thing is just stupid, shallow, clueless and meaningless when 1 in 3 women will be raped or beaten in her lifetime.
I questioned me.
I doubted me.
I disowned and divorced me.
Sweet amazing precious me.
I am still totally bawling… I don’t just mean tears this time… I mean sobs and sorrow and sadness for having abused the light that is ME.
For having questioned my KNOWING that in our sexiness is our healing! Our nurturing! Our awakening! Our worth!
I am a sexy mom! A SEXY MOM!
I am a MOM and I am SEXY!!
I am both! I am ALL!
I am a creator of LIFE! LIFE!!!
A nurturer of life. A wild, potent, crazy, and weird sensual explosive generator of LIFE.
My ‘sexualness’ as Access and Gary and Dr. Dain call it… my sexualness doesn’t mean copulation!
Seeing Ali dance on the pole for her baby… YES this is the EMBODIMENT OF SEXUALNESS! She’s glorious, radiant, temptress to the magnificence of her little baby!!
Come shine with me! Come play with me! Come live free with me! Come enjoy your body like me!
Sheila Kelley rocks.
Ali rocks.
I rock.
You rock.
I am embarking THIS VERY WEEK on a 6 month journey in S Factor pole dancing to reclaim, celebrate, honor and discover untapped realities of erotic nurturing potent ME! I will be sharing weekly videos on youtube.com/allanapratt for I KNOW…. I mean I’m a delicious snotty mess writing this… for I KNOW this is transformative for me beyond my imagination! I can already taste it. And it’s orgasmic.
No more shame being a sexy mom!
No more shame being a sensual pole dancing diva!
No more shame being fully expressed in my tender, caring, creative orgasmic energy!
No more shame about making people uncomfortable with the love I have of my body, of my beauty, of my potency to change lives.
No more fear about embracing, owning, claiming, embodying the true juiciness, joy and lusciousness of being in Communion with my beautiful body!
In Communion with the Glory of Life…
Wow.
It’s all quiet now.
The potency has become soft.
The resistance to ME has passed.
The judgment from others is dissolved.
I choose to Dance.
I choose to Embody Consciousness.
I love you.
Watch this now.
And let me know how it touches you.
Deliciously, Allana

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From Sheila Kelley…. On 12/12/12, I’ll be releasing the second video in the global women’s movement, Redefining Sexy: Believe in Your Beauty – Ali’s Motherhood Story. Like many women, Ali expected motherhood to be one of the happiest milestones in her life. She was not prepared to feel anger, disappointment, resentment and sadness toward her body after giving birth. Many women suffer through this struggle alone, ashamed of their emotions, and they develop self-hatred of their feminine body. They no longer feel sexy. They no longer feel beautiful. And there isn’t anyone they can talk to about this.>

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