By Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt
You can’t be all things to all people, so you certainly can’t fulfill every need of your partner. So one bumps up against the wall, of where they end and the unknown begins… will he cheat? Will she forget about me? Will I become obsolete?
What’s really being triggered is, ‘Do I love me enough to trust life that no matter what I’ll be OK?’
Do I love him unconditionally enough to know even if he enjoys playing tennis with her more than me, am I still enough AND can want what’s best for his life, not what makes me feel safe?
Do I love her unconditionally enough to know that when she takes ballroom classes with him that she’s more alive and I know she still chose ME as her man?
In my practice, I see that distrust breeds distrust and that Good Men (or women) use freedom well. Giving each other space with trust, while valuing your own worth is very sexy.
Yet at the same time, don’t be blind or numb to your intuition if this new ‘friend’ is really a replacement for a lack of intimacy in your own bedroom. Be willing to sit in the fire, be transparent, vulnerable and open to having those uncomfortable conversations, that when done with honestly and respect, bring every couple closer.