What to do when his sex drive is too much for you?
What is a girl supposed to do when his sex drive is more robust than yours? Do you have to keep up or should he slow down?
Neither. Or both. It’s a dance. Notice the most amazing dance performances with couples… they both don’t do the same thing all the time, right? One has a solo, then the other. Sometimes it’s intense, other times slow and sweet.
The first thing is to destroy the judgment that something is wrong… nothing’s wrong! You’re just doing a new dance! For me, if I think I have to perform, reach orgasm and he wants that and wants sex all the time, it’s a lot of pressure! Yet what if he wants to devour me, please me, pleasure me, and all I have to do is receive? And whatever happens …happens? Be willing to create what works for you here.
A guest expert on my show Intimate Conversations LIVE Amy Smith told me that her and her husband have a rule… if one is in the mood and the other isn’t, first they ask, Can I get you in the mood? (Which means really be willing to look inside and see if you ‘could’ get in the mood if you had your needs met, a foot rub, a talk about something, a new location, no pressure for results etc.) If you’re a yes… then go for it. And yet if when you look inside, you’re really a No, then the other has the right, without guilt or judgment, to take care of themselves.
If this becomes so one sided that it starts to affect the intimacy of the relationship, I would encourage you to connect with another Intimate Conversations Guest of mine, Larry Michel of Match Matrix. He has a technology that can show if you are sexuality is compatible, how you’re wired… some of us are more sexually open, energetic and turned on 24/7 and others of us are sexual and are nourished sexually in the bedroom with our beloved… knowing how you’re wired would help me as a counselor to create solutions that honor how each of you are wired.
For the bottom line for now, is to not make the situation wrong or each other wrong… speak what’s true for you, what your ideal situation would be and know a solution is out there, keep asking questions like What would it take for our sexual union to flow, expand and be fulfilling with ease? See where you get and know I’m here for you should you encounter any speed bumps.>