THE Secret to a Sexy Connected Relationship

THE Secret to a Sexy Connected Relationship

CC Photo Credit: notsogoodphotography

What do you think a sexy Mom is? For me, it’s all about a woman being comfortable in her own skin. A Mom who is at peace with herself and her life, savors moments, and has an open and graceful heart. Sexy to me is also a Mom who has a little sass and greets the world with pleasure even when she’s scared or upset. A Mom who can use this power to form a deep connection is truly sexy!
I found my sexiness in a break-up. That’s right, a break-up. Some time ago, I shared my life for over a year with a wonderful man. He had a business opportunity that took him away for 6 months and we continued to share our lives together, even though it sometimes became a struggle. But one day he told me that his business was now going to keep him away for three years. I was devastated. I knew it wasn’t realistic to keep this long-distance relationship thriving for three years. I let myself cry and grieve but also I felt my power rise up within me as my partner and I talked about the future.
He was amazing. He actually said he would not rest until he knew I had someone in my life who loved me, supported me and would help me parent my son. WOW! I loved him even more for that and will always have love for him because of his immense love for me. I felt alive, open, radiant, special and…SEXY!
Do you have a relationship that has this level of open communication? Here are the strategies my wonderful former boyfriend and I used to keep our relationship fresh, honest, open, deep, profound and joyful. I know that we built a solid foundation of communication through this practice that allowed us to complete our relationship with such love and blessing. It is my hope that you will use this advice to help you keep your heart open through any challenge you may face in your relationships, and keep you feeling like the sexy Mom that you are. Plus, you can also apply these skills with your kids.
The Dyad- Two Way Communication
Create a regular time to ask each other these questions. You can do this in any way that makes you comfortable. You can make it a sacred event with candle lighting, or a dinner out or at home, in front of a roaring fire, it doesn’t matter where – just ask the questions.
The key to this is your response to each others’ answer. You may only respond with a “Thank you.” No back and forth asking for more information or judging the answer, just say “Thank you.”
Go back and forth with each question for 2 minutes then move to the next question.
You are never to speak again about what you heard.
This is to bridge a line of safe, honoring communication between you two. I credit this teaching to Satyen Raja of

  • “Tell me something you like about me.” (creates affinity)
  • “Tell me something you think we align on.” (reminds you that you’re on the same team)
  • “Tell me something you think I should know. (allows a safe space to tell the truth, the hurt beneath the anger, the pain of not being respected, etc.)

I swear if you do this once, let alone regularly, the intimacy will come alive, the trust will deepen, the honesty will set you free, and your connection will be palpable. No more elephants in the living room, no more feelings or thoughts left unsaid.
Speak your truth with love, kindness and honesty and let the magic of these dyads heal wounds, build bridges and create sizzle in the bedroom and glorious love in your heart.>

Subscribe to Allana's Weekly InspirationsLet’s be together. Each week I share my most vulnerable stories, delicious videos and inspiring audios to awaken your thriving intimate relationships.