The biggest sabotaging factor that drowns sizzle out of long term relationships is the creating of a contractive box of what’s possible around their relationship. Each partner cuts off seeing the true core of their partner and instead ‘already knows’ who they are…this box could be full of expectations, past regrets, fear of making the other upset as in the past and concerns of being rejected like in the past.
“Sizzle” is really an embracing of the unknown with certainty it will bring expansion of one’s self-expression, authentic connection with another and simultaneous reverence for Life and what’s possible. Sizzle is easy when you don’t know the other… the world is your oyster. Sizzle seems a chore when you’re inside a small box of possibilities.
We are ever expanding beings so your partner IS DIFFERENT than when you first met them! And will continue to be! And so will you!
Sooooo!!! To get the sizze back, which costs nothing whatsoever, yet does require a commitment to spend one hour a week together, I recommend that couples choose to…
1. Complete, end, have a one hour ritual to close a chapter of your relationship with gratitude for what you’ve learned, forgiveness of self and the other, acceptance of self and the other.
2. Next week, begin, to have a one hour ritual to ignite phase 2, like a 2nd honeymoon, where you see each other with curious fresh eyes and over dinner ask, Who are you now? What turns you on now? What have you always dreamed of being, doing? Or you could do this naked in bed for a luxurious hour of talking, touching, listening and connecting.
3. Next week. step into the unknown with your OWN self-expression and revelation of desires- take time to journal, go for a walk or talk with a coach about who you are now, full of wisdom, courage and honor of self.
4. Next week, step into the unknown with openness to what your partner’s desires- with complete non judgment and fascination with who they are, get curious about what turns them on and be such a good listener that they share things they’ve never felt safe enough to share before.
5. Moving forward, create a weekly date, check into a hotel, throw scarves over the lamps & light candles in the living room with a pushed back coffee table and feed each other dinner on the floor, going for a walk someplace new, have a picnic in the backyard, eat dinner naked in bed, read erotic literature or watch an adult movie, address each other as ‘lover’ and explore this ‘new to you’ partner, risk and dive into the unknown with your beloved
Take this process one step at a time, one hour a week to nourish your relationship, watch as your return on investment sky rockets!