She Says You Are Not the ONE Wait or Move on?
I’m having one of those yummy orgasmic moments. I’m wearing a leopard bra… How does it any better than that to start your day like that? I am doing these herbs from John of God. I don’t know if you know who that is. My girlfriend brought them back for me from Brazil. You can’t drink for 40 days. I haven’t had my glass of wine every night but I’m allowed to still have my coffee. Mmmmm! So I’m having more of an orgasmic ritual with my coffee because that’s about all I get to hosier my addictions right now.
Somebody sent me this really cool coffee press thing so I can take it traveling over the summer and still have my orgasmic cup of coffee. Then I have this other coffee maker that I was also gifted that is from Italy or something. It’s all Italian. It froths up; I don’t like to drink regular milk because it gives me a tummy ache but coconut milk is pretty good; but that’s kind of hard to make it yummy, frothy, and decadent. But not with this. You can froth up the coconut milk so that’s so orgasmic too!
Here I am answering a question that came through on Facebook from my amazing friend and colleague who I love, Mwah!. Larry Michels. Hey guys and gals, what do you think about this?
You’ve been dating exclusively for a number of months and things have escalated to where you know you’re in love; to be clear, in love versus just loving someone; when you’re in love you’re looking at this person as someone you’re committed to and wish to build a loving partnership with. In your words, in your mind and heart—- you are fully in it. Okay?
Now you are exactly where most women want you to be with them; provided they are there too. Here comes the rub. What if you are all in and she is not?
You’re not interest in looking around. You’re not thinking maybe there is something better. You KNOW this is the woman you want to be with now. You have told her and she has let you know she does care for you but…… Oooh, but. She wants to keep her eyes open for something better.
OW!
Better may mean something closer to her own age or someone with a similar background or education; maybe someone with more hair, or less. Bottom line, she does not see you as her “The One”.
She still wants to do things with you; including sleep with you.
Should the guy say “Sorry this does not work for me; I need a full commitment”; OR should he agree to request to keep seeing her when she can because they do have so much fun when they’re together even though he knows she’s looking around for an upgrade?
Larry Michel!!! What an amazing question!
Allana’s Answer:
For me everything comes down to honor. Intimacy, the components that go in to this true deep relationship with our self; which is required for it to be with another; are we honoring our self?
Guys, ask the question. Is this honoring to me to be with a woman who has verbally stated I’m not the one? I say no hope in hell no. No. No. No.
If she says something different along the lines of I’d still like to get to know you better or I’m choosing to not be exclusive right now, but I really enjoy you, that’s different because the door is still open that this could go deeper. But if she’s come out clearly and said “You’re not the one” and you choose to be with “the one”, this is not in integrity. This is not honoring of you. It’s a dishonoring of you.
I think it would end up hurting you, not helping you, to continue seeing her. You could be not interested in “the one”; just “the one for now”; a beautiful, intimate, deep connection and you don’t have to have it mean forever. It can just be something beautiful for now. And if you’re okay with that and that’s more of what she’s actually trying to say; that she’s just not interested in “the one” forever, this is a whole different conversation.
So get clear with what it is you choose to have, get clear with whether what she has to say is indeed honoring. Always trust what people tell you. If she says you’re not “the one” and she’s always looking around, that can’t feel good when you’re out with her.
So I would let her go. I would hold integrity to what you truly choose and let her go; even if it means you have to go hang out with the guys more often; even if it means you’re going to be alone sometimes; even if it means you need to watch some sexy video to make yourself feel great; even if it means you need to just go deeper inside and get even more rigorous with what it is you truly know is possible and what you truly choose to have.
But never dishonor yourself. No.
So Larry, bring another question! This is awesome! I’d love to hear what you have to say. Respond to the video with what’s going on in your life situation and if I can be of service to you. I LOVE to love you. I love to make it okay; give yourself permission to have exactly what you choose to have no matter what anybody else says. You know your truth.
I’m here to reflect that back to you so you feel even more confident in it; so you choose it, you be the energy of it and you have it. All of it.>