7 Things You Must Do for YOU After a Breakup, Part 2
2. Express Your Sadness
I’m a together woman. I’m a hard worker, strong and courageous… I don’t have time for being sad! And that’s for weak people anyways. I just grin and bear it, never let ‘em see you sweat, never lose control, never turn your back. And HE most certainly will never get the best of ME or make ME cry. &*$% him.
What’s happening on the inside when one acts like this, is saying to a part of you that needs a big ‘ol hug… to screw off! As if the scared part of you is a young child, they just came in the room to say they’re sad, and you said “talk to the hand.”
It makes women very crunchy and unapproachable… and alone.
It makes men unavailable and unable to have intimate connected relationships.
Sad is normal. Sad is real. Sad is a process.
It doesn’t have to last forever, you don’t need to be a victim and mope, yet you may have a few moments, or days,, of authentic sadness and that’s okay.
If you don’t deal with what’s authentic for you, a common survival strategy is being fake… “No, I’m fine! Really!” And no one trusts you. Because you can’t trust being with the real you either… Ashamed or judgmental of a part of you aching to be held safe and sound.
I love the honor of holding the safe and masterful space of being there for people to finally tell the truth.
I have long since lost count of the people, from celebrity to client to furniture store salesman who says “I can’t believe I”m telling you this.” All breakups cause sadness on some level, even if you chose it, for something is ending and a new phase is beginning.
It’s because I have no judgment of sad, or mad, or ashamed, or much! And this suppressed part of them knows it’s safe to be heard, be gotten, be validated, acknowledged and unconditionally loved for exactly how they are.
Then and only then, can change occur.
Then and only then can one truly choose.
Then and only then can you heal from a breakup and soar into the next phase of your life.
So create the space to be real in your life, work with a coach like me, give yourself the gift of being real and unconditionally loved.. and watch how grace unfolds as your life.