Archive for divorce

What Do You Do When One Wants Divorce and One Doesn’t?

A delicious question from my Good Men Project Audience!

Q:  Allana, if one person wants a divorce and the other person doesn’t, what do you do? The marriage is clearly over but the husband just won’t let go and move on.

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Love of My Life Left Me. My Happy Ending Is Dead

Q: Allana, My husband and I are divorced. He left me shattered. How do I rebuild after the man of my dreams walked out on me?”
A: Wow, I am so very sorry. How awful. You must be in a lot of pain. I have no idea how you must be feeling. I hope you are taking good care of your body, your heart and your world.
How do you rebuild? I’m a little hesitant to tell you as the tone of your question sounds like you may not be there quite yet. And yet you asked, so with deepest tenderness for the pain you’re in… here we go.
First, no one shatters you. You are not shatter-able. Yes, there is pain in life. And this is painful. But suffering is optional. And saying that he left you shattered gives all your power away to him, saying he creates your happiness… when in fact that’s your job.
Being betrayed totally sucks, and yet I find it quite curious that he would just up and leave. Were things perfect and this blind sided you? Were there problems you were unwilling to face? Were there red flags you were unwilling to see? Were you so in your head that you disconnected from your heart and intuition that could have seen this coming?
It sounds like this is a big wake up call to love yourself madly, to get to know what truly makes you happy, to find people who honor respect and adore you for you, to chose activities that delight you, a job that challenges and inspires you, a workout regime that enlivens you, a coach/mentor/group to support you.
This isn’t an easy quick fix…. this is an invitation for a whole lifestyle upgrade and adjustment so that you heal, truly know your worth, let go of people/situations that don’t honor you, cultivate ones that do celebrate your exquisiteness… and ALL OF THIS BEFORE YOU GET OUT DATING AGAIN PLEASE! Or you very well may choose another man who leaves you… THEN we REALLY have some healing to do.
In coaching calls with me… given I am so safe, tender, unconditionally loving, non judgmental and masterful at guiding clients to the core of the pain to heal it, as opposed to wasting time dealing with symptoms… I can turn people’s lives around in record time… if they are ready to grow heal and learn. If they are more interested in being a victim, blaming or wanting to be saved… I won’t take them on as clients. You really have to be willing to ask What’s Right About This? What’s the Gift? If My Soul Chose This, What’s the Lesson?
I’d hate for you to be alone during such a painful time, and yet with my divorced clients, when they’re done working with me, they look back and even say, this was the best thing that’s ever happened to me… honestly. I know you’re not there… yet if you’re willing to be there… let’s connect. A strategy session will give you all the information you require to make an educated decision about working with me in 6 Sessions or an Intensive weekend, or like most clients choose.. both. www.AllanaPratt.com/strategy
Your whole life is ahead of you. I know your worth feels like crap. Yet if you value yourself and work with me, that self worth will be mirrored in a man who honors, cherishes and adores you. Promise.
Great love,
Allana
xoox

Am I Doomed to Be Single Forever?

You asked Coach Allana Pratt, “Is it possible to go through life, the whole thing, single? I put immense pressure on myself worrying that I could.”
Will I always be single?

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Happily Married but Sexual Unsatisfied

You asked, “Coach Allana, I am a happily married man but my wife just can’t satisfy my sexual needs.   We are so opposite in the bedroom.  I obviously don’t want a divorce but I don’t want to be unsatisfied either.  Help!”
Different Desires in the Bedroom

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How Can I Reclaim My Masculine Energy After a Divorce?

Question:  Allana, I’m having trouble being assertive, turning heads as a man since my divorce. I now don’t have faith in myself. What should I do? Read More →

Offering a House to Cancel Our Divorce

Q: I want a divorce but my husband doesn’t. I am trying to qualify to buy a house but at the same time selling the house we owned together. As I just filed for bankruptcy, I can’t get a loan. My husband has offered to buy a house for me and pay for it, if I call off the divorce. He said he wouldn’t live in it or anything. Should I do it?

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