Q: Allana, When does persistence become harassment/stalking?
A: I get juicy when man knows what he wants and it’s me. I adore a man who honors my heart, mind and body and wants to spend time with me. Texting and emails are great once a day or even every other day which gives me space to desire you. I love it when men notice the slope of my neck, or my goofy giggle, or to know they were thinking of me. Personally I have a life and don’t care for several texts throughout the day, yet sexting at night for half and hour can be hot. I have zero tolerance for harassment and stalking.
Persistence from male suitors become harassment and stalking when a woman’s firm “No” is ignored. If a woman communicates “No thank you” then back off and move on. It makes me feel completely slimy if a man stands too close to me trying to talk to me, if he comments blatantly on body parts like my tits or ass, or if I get sexually inappropriate texts or emails especially late at night, before we’ve become intimate.
Yet I also want to apologize on behalf of my gender. Many women aren’t clear, kind or brave enough to say, “Thank you, but no thank you.” I get how frustrating and confusing it must be. Is her not calling or texting you back mean she’s the bunny and wanting you to chase her? Is she playing games wanting to see if you’re a ‘real man’ and will pursue her over other women? Some women who have been burned by men play games in an attempt to protect their hearts and I’m sorry if they lead you on, only later to blame you for harassment.
On the other hand, be careful that you are not overcompensating for an emasculated heart and being disconnected to your masculine instinct in your pursuing of women. One client of mine always finding himself in the ‘friend zone’ tried to be more aggressive with women because he heard that women wanted a bad boy. Yet because of past wounding from his Dad and other women, his ‘aggressive’ was actually ANGER and it pushed women away. Do your inner work so you can hear your heart, intuition and act appropriately with your masculine instinct. And if you can’t connect to that, call me, that’s my specialty.
Bottom line, be clear, noble and confident in your intentions. If she shows interest, smiles, then pursue. If she says ‘No Thank you’, move on. If she ignores you, sorry for her lack of class, yet move on. There are plenty of women out there who won’t play games. And a quality woman will appreciate a Good Man. Promise.