Losing Your Identity For the Sake of Friendship
When is it going too far that your compromise who you are just to fit in? There are a group of mothers on my street that remind me of the cool girls in high school. The few times they have invited me in, I find myself speaking poorly about people I care about so I am seen as “one of them”.
Answer: I suppose there may be situations where we just need to go with the flow to fit in... particularly family events where there's really no need to start an argument to try to be right... And we can just allow another person's opinion to lead the way for overall peace. We don’t need to convince Uncle Bob of our political, religious or lifestyle beliefs. However we don't have a choice with who is in our family... yet we DO have a choice with who our friends are.
Friends are people who see you for who you are, who don't talk behind your back, who believed in you and are willing to be straight with you, who are supportive for each other's highest good, who care about your feelings. These women don't seem to act like true friends because they talk poorly about other people behind their back... another name for that is gossiping... and it's weak, cowardly, cruel and unkind. It doesn’t provide uplifting energy for the person they’re talking about nor does it uplift the consciousness of the group of women.
Perhaps you're meant to up level the whole group by inviting them to talk about strengths, values, great moments, peak experiences when talking about others… and to consider and ‘no gossip rule’ because they wouldn’t like it if others were talking negatively about them behind their back.
Perhaps you're being meant to stop compromising yourself, bless and release them and find a different set of friends that have aligned values? Perhaps you’re being asked to create a new reality that aligns with your heart? Which feels more true to you?
Bottom line being Who You Are in the face of cool girls or mean girls is going to take courage ... yet I know you can do it. Compromising who you are to get the approval of somebody you don't even respect in the first place is disrespectful of your sweet Soul... I say let this be a lovely reminder of how you choose to be in the world, let them go with a blessings and find some cool kind people to hang out with :-)
