Question: I’m turned off by my husband and I’m not sure why. I just don’t really have a desire to have sex with him, although I love him dearly and he’s very good to me. What’s wrong with me? What I can do to turn this around?
Answer: This is quite a curious question to me my love, because you’re not saying you’ve lost your libido which would inspire me to send you to your doctor to check out your hormones, perhaps menopause or too much cortisol being stressed out at work making your hormones wonky.
You’re saying you are turned OFF by him. Like disgusted? Like it grosses you out? Like doing it with your brother? What are we talking about here? Are you turned on by fantasizing about others? Are you turned off about sex, men, life in general?
Let’s begin by not making you wrong for this, kay? For all the self judgment is just going to make things worse. It is what it is and let’s just breathe and say WELCOME to this wonderful adventure.
Now, is it possible that he’s soo nice to you that he’s become the friend zone? The nice guy? And you just want him to throw you up against the counter and take you? Is it that he’s lost his testosterone edge and become your roommate?
Is is that he’s turned into a yes man, and does everything for you and has forgotten himself, his dreams, his calling? Never challenging himself or spending quality time with the guys, lost his toned body, become your girlfriend?
Have you become the masculine energy in the relationship? Making all the decisions, guiding things, basically in charge of everything?
Any of those examples would do it for me… what is it about him that DID turn you on? What DOES turn you on about a man? What do you yearn for, ache for, wish he would do? What makes you jealous that other women’s husbands do… or be… or say? Or smell? Or dress? Anything!
Once I get a better idea of what’s going on here… whether it’s that you’re too masculine or he’s too feminine and you’ve just neutralized each other out… then we can create a plan. I’d LOVE to connect with you both for a series of sessions, some together but mostly separately so you each can become the best versions of your selves which ALWAYS creates positive movement in people’s lives.
There is a chance that your sacred contract is done… yet given you said you want to turn this around… it sounds like you’re simply done Phase 1 and ready for Phase 2 in our marriage and that’s what God made me for 😉 For helping people have hot healthy long term intimate relationships… dissolving everything in the way of being your most sacredly sexy selves… and letting that ignite your relationship to new depth and heights. Yum. Contact my email@example.com and let’s see if you’re indeed a fit to work with me. What if Phase 2 is even better than you could ever imagine?
I know it’s possible. Let’s dive in and create some delicious change,