My client this morning looked tanner, even had some great highlights in her hair… she had been to Mexico and enjoyed unplugging from work, playing with the kids, being in the sun, yet had bickered with her husband the WHOLE time. Both wanted to sleep in, both wanted much needed downtime, yet neither grandma had been able to come, so they needed a vacation from their vacation when they returned.
And their intimacy got worse.
And yet, they DID learn from this and have planned a trip to Vegas for a weekend.
Why do parents feel guilty leaving their kids?
I think it’s natural. No one will love them just the way you do. No one perhaps, understands their nuances the way parents do… yet quite often the REAL reason is facing the gap void intimacy… truly expressing without blaming, how challenging parenting can be and honestly asking for what each person needs to keep the marriage thriving… many find it easier to stay stressed, exhausted, disconnected for decades, spending more time at work, with the guys, with the gals… rather than jump into the delicious fire, BE together, BE honest, BE seen, held, heard, validated, understood and listened to… with no agenda, not need to fix, just BE together and let the vulnerability and openness begin to shift things toward choices that work, toward choices that bring ease, joyous orgasmic creative living back to the marriage.
Does any of this resonate with you?
Well time to take action to create some Mom, Dad Getaways, yes?
It could be as simple as getting a sitter and booking a couple’s massage.
Let your kids sleep over at family or friends and have naked night where you cook sensually, feeding one another by hand while spending the whole evening naked.
Book into a hotel with big Jacuzzi bubble baths and put the kids in the kids club for a few hours.
Get some terrific smelling salts and enjoy a steamy shower together sloughing off old skin, symbolically letting go of old blame or withholds…
Quarterly, plan a weekend trip and get organized by asking friends or family in advance. It’s important to be able to have as wild, as noisy, as crazy, as reverent, as vulnerable and as connected sex as possible KNOWING the kids won’t hear or walk in.
And on the weekends… find ways to support one another in EACH having alone time, down time to replenish… which fuels romance on the weekends knowing the other isn’t competing for time, but being gifted with rejuvenation for the flourishing of your family AND your intimate rockin’ relationship.
You can find WAY more ideas in my Missing Handbook to Motherhood cuz when you’re empty, it’s hard to come up with ideas or take action, we often just give up. So let my ideas, inspiration and empowerment make the shifts necessary to have the flourishing relationship you know is possible. When mama’s happy, everybody’s happy…and the delicious choice is yours.