Why are Assertive Dominating Women My Turn On?
Question: Hi Allana! I know that usually a woman likes to be in her feminine state and she tends to receive and be more submissive to a masculine man. The issue I have as a masculine man is that I can't deny that I have always been attracted to very strong assertive women.... A business woman turns me on and when it comes to intimacy, the thought of a bitchy, demanding Dominatrix wearing thigh high boots and telling me how it's going to be is just what totally turns me on.
The problem is I feel conflicted since what I desire in a woman is not the normal female, vs masculine balance that attracts most women to a man. What do you suggest I do as a man to find the type of woman that I can’t help but to be drawn to and would a woman like this ever truly be happy with a man like me ?
Answer: First, you are WAY cool for being so transparent and reaching out. I honor you.
Second, you are accurate that 'most' women desire to receive and be claimed by a more masculine man... yet there are plenty of women who are more masculine, dominant and assertive in their sexual nature. Likewise, 'most' men tend to desire to claim and open a women into surrender, yet there are plenty of men who desire to be ravished by a woman.
Love, you're not weird. You are turned on by what you're turned on by. Judging yourself just creates shame. Being who you're not only denies your truth. And calling a woman not normal is just as judgmental as calling your desires wrong! What if you are you... and she is she... and you two could be a delicious match?
I don't think you need to change. I suggest you stop rejecting yourself for how you're wired. What if you allowed yourself to be who you are? What if you even had fun being who you are? What if you let go of labels like normal and not normal and just moved in the direction of what turns you on?
I say your perfect match(es) will adore you for YOU, exactly who you are.
When I work with clients who are just coming out, or who have been raised in a strict religion, or who have an STD or who have suddenly lost their partner to a heart attack during sex... these are all intense life situations that close our hearts and get in the way of our true healthy natural sacred sexual energy flow.
And the truth is ALL of these situations are here for us to grow, evolve, mature, expand and move toward our deepest consciousness. Your sexual desires could make you shame yourself forever, OR you could set yourself free and begin enjoying your authentic sexual nature... it all comes down to a choice. I hope you choose to BE YOU.
And if you require support in flattening emotional charge where you feel ashamed, fearful, hesitant or unable to be FREE being you, please register for a discounted $97 introductory session with me so I can support your total freedom of expression. It's your birthright, great man.
Huge blessings, Allana xox
