My Son’s New Girlfriend Is A Bitch!
Question: Over the Easter holiday, my son brought home his new girlfriend. First off, she was the rudest little thing I have ever met. I don’t know what barn she grew up in but I wish she would go back to it. Second, he told me that he is thinking of asking her to marry him. My reaction probably wasn’t the one he expected. As I had a few drinks in me, my response was “Not over my dead body.” To say the least, we haven’t spoken since they left. How do I fix this?
Answer: You are completely hysterical and you are cracking me up! While also scaring the shit out of me if this ever happened to me with my son!
I know you know that your response was not effective, yet it was honest, wasn’t it 🙂
I always like what I learned years and years ago in Toastmasters when you give feedback: put it in a sandwich.
Bread: Sweetheart, I’m so happy to see that you are dating and bringing home your girlfriend for us to meet. There’s so much to learn in finding a partner that brings out the best in you and truly contributes to your life.
Meat and cheese: May I be straight with you son? This is hard for me to say as your mother because all I want for you is to be happy, yet I noticed she wasn’t as kind as you are. I noticed the way she spoke didn’t make me feel honored and actually hurt my feelings. You are a grown man and you can make your own choices yet as your mother who wants the best for you, may I ask that you take this slow and really honestly look if she is the level of care, tenderness, kindness, love, respect, honor, and graciousness that you truly deserve that will support you in being the best man you could ever be?
Bread: Thank you for listening to my point of you as deep down inside I’m scared that somebody unkind might take advantage of you and all I want to know is that your honored and respected and is happy as can be. I trust that you have the courage and wisdom to take a hard look at your relationships before making big decisions like marriage… And if you need somebody to talk to I know this amazing coach and healer named Allana Pratt who would be happy to have a one on one strategy session with you to make sure that you are making solid powerful decisions with something as important as marriage. I love you sweetheart.
OK, I know that’s nowhere near as sexy as saying over my dead body… And wishing she would go back into the barn that she came from… Yet, at least that way of speaking won’t get him defensive and will hopefully awake in his wisdom and also gives him a strategy to ask questions to a third-party or he might be more open then he would with you. One thing I know for sure is when we tell our kids NOT to do something, that’s the surest fastest guaranteed way for them to do it! So be cautious sister!
Your son could apply for a complimentary strategy session at AllanaPratt.com/connect. And heaven for bid they actually get engaged… I would ask their wedding present be a series of six sessions so that we can tone down this woman and strengthen your son and perhaps help them have a thriving marriage 🙂
All my love xoxo