Being perfect is a cruel lie that sets moms up for guilt, shame, failure and constant striving for an unrealistic unattainable goal.
We all make mistakes. The kids AND the moms. What to do? Own it. Say I’m sorry. No excuses. Ask how can I make it up to you? They will tell you. Then learn from what happened and implement change.
My 9 year old son tells me he doesn’t care if I make mistakes, nor does he care if I say I’m sorry. All he cares about is if I learn and change my behavior in the future. Then he says he respects and trusts me.
We CAN’T change our behavior if we’re beating ourselves up! We CAN change by forgiving ourselves, making it better with our kids and then taking action so that we learn, grow and respond better next time.
Notice that when you let it be OK, that mom is human, when the kids mess up, we moms don’t freak out putting the same perfectionist pressures on them. Instead we stay calm, talk about compassion, self-responsibility, creative solutions, while staying connected to our kids! Not judging our kids for being human feels really good! And brings you closer.