I wanted to go deeper into our conversation about the Ego with glorious goddesses Tammy, Donna, Jaime and Heidi! I believe Ego is completely different than true feminine confidence…. in fact the more I read, live and learn, I believe ego is simply a mechanism to maneuver in the world of seeming separateness while full well knowing we’re all One.
For example, I remember talking with Dr. Northrup about this… how first she really had to have a full on egoic nasty bashing outpour of feelings about her ex… and then she was able to actually to write a letter to him of her honest feelings of love for him AND for all the growth she’s received because of him, she then read it to him AND to her daughters to let them know that while things have changed, there was a time when they were both conceived in love.
Thus I think it’s totally wonderful to enjoy ‘feeding our ego’ and yet be 100% clear that it has nothing to do with the truth of who we are, our innate worth, our fundamental oneness beyond identity, beyond things, even beyond agreement from others.
Now I LOVE to be appreciated… yet I can feel when I’m fishing for it.. and it fills an unhealthy void that can never be filled… and when I’ve sooo enjoyed the process of creation I just went through, that the appreciation fro others makes my cup runneth over in expanded celebration of the moment, not as a validation for my worthiness.
I also think we are felt by our men when our praise is to feed their wounded ego as a manipulation to get what we want.. yuck… yet we can praise them authentically affirming their magnificence making them puff up, perhaps also giving them a little tease or humorous joke… then truly looking them deep in the eye letting them know it’s the essence of their very being, the very LOVE they ARE that invites us open, surrender and let go.
Donna asked a good question, saying feeding her ego fear and insecurity makes it the bad guy and would starving it make it the good guy?
I think it’s beyond good or bad… for me that just keeps the seesaw going. If we are limitless beings… is there really any ‘bad’ stuff anyways? We are All that is, judging nothing…
Even with fear, I don’t judge myself if I’m afraid anymore.. I go toward the fear with curiosity and love… ask questions and it calms down… and again I’m at choice to choose what expands me.
Even with pleasures… I don’t fear my ego will get out of control… it may not work for me to eat chocolate for breakfast lunch and dinner, yet I love the pleasure of embracing the experience without judgment, with abandon and self love and the healthy choice always prevails… this way I can’t manipulate myself, or be manipulated… I’m aware and empowered and I’m able to let go of control and know I’m OK. Makes me feel sexy, soulful and at rest in my core.
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