Question: I’m a mom who had lost herself. I found you on Twitter, got your Missing Handbook to Motherhood. LOVED IT, rocked it and began feeling like myself again. The only thing is the other moms in my playgroup are making fun of me. Logically I know they must be jealous, but it hurts. What should I do?
Answer: Sweet sister… this is so common, although unfortunate. Whenever we leave one dimension of being and rise to the next, we become an invitation to others to rise, and those that aren’t ready, are scared, feel powerless or slighted… will try to pull us down. Notice they’d have to be empty to behave that way, unable to celebrate a sister. Notice they must feel competitive to act that way, forgetting to source their own sense of fullness from the inside out. Notice they are unwilling to face inside what’s being triggered by seeing you, how they too have lost their identity, their mojo, their time for self and feel out of control, scared or embarrassed.
So that gives you higher ground, compassion and understanding for their behavior. Yet it still hurts, I get it. Depending on the level of authentic sharing and profound connection you’ve had with these women in the past, you might consider sharing how scared, empty, out of touch with your femininity, blaming of others, out of control you USED to feel. (connects with where they’re at in a compassionate way). Then share how you made the internal decision one day that you, the kids and your marriage was worth more… and so you invested in my book… and it worked. You might suggest they all get it and form a MOMS Night book club to listen to a chapter a week! Moms need to be filled up and structure is a MUST for we’re always busy. Just going out for drinks can be fun, but unless the inner work matches the out work, the evening will just turn into complaining and blaming. Instead, relax, sit back, listen to a chapter, have a discussion, create some accountability and meet for walks, go lingerie shopping, take a dance class, swap babysitting for one another… form a bond and get stronger together.
Consider getting them all my book for the Holidays and starting January Mom’s Nights! http://www.missinghandbooktomotherhood.com/
And if this doesn’t happen with this group of moms, follow your gut and start hanging out with moms who DO take time for themselves, who aren’t perfect, who are real, authentic, grateful and honoring of themselves and their families… who know when mama’s happy, everybody’s happy.