I’m 46 and feel the sexiest of my entire life. OK, at least most of the time. Last trip to Maui I got triggered by a 20 yr. old cellulite stretch mark wrinkle free babe at the beach and considered moving back to join the blue haired bingo girls and getting wasted.
But I didn’t. I blessed her. I was young once. And honestly I was pretty insecure, comparing myself with other women, fighting for the attention of men, hating my body and wishing I was thinner, younger, chosen by a guy… I was never enough.
After 2 divorces, mom dying and recreating my life into an Intimacy Expert, I was even moved to tears in a Skype Telesummit interview a few years ago with how much humble magnificent JOY there is to be at peace in my skin for the first time in my life.
Dating later in life is its own animal. I don’t need the kid, I don’t need the wedding, and I don’t even need someone to add more to my to do list to take care of… I kind of like that I don’t have to risk falling into the depth of the toilet bowl cuz the toilet seat is down. We don’t NEED a man, yet dammit, having one around from time to time would be nice.
The best advice I give my boomer male and female clients is to get clear on what they want. What would work for them? OUTSIDE the traditional world of expectations and assumptions. You don’t have to live together. You can have several partners or one special beloved. He can sleep in the yurt in the backyard. She can take pole dancing. Anything goes.
Don’t get over analytical and in rigid conclusion of what you want, yet do get the energy, the feeling, the sensation of what you’d like… be it waking every morning with someone, the smell of their hair, or is it the enthusiastic feeling of getting off the plane and seeing them for weekend getaways. There IS a scenario where you THRIVE, where you are both contributed to, where you are both honored and the sex is just the way you love it.
Are you willing to choose it? Are you willing to speak about it on a date? Are you willing to ask for it? Are you willing to have it? Even if people think you’re weird? (Or secretly wish THEY had the balls/ovaries to create the dream life you have!) What if this was the BEST time of your life and you could create anything you choose? It is. And you can.
Now off you go and get started.