Choosing to Design Change

Throwback to 2012:

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One of my best friends, Cathy Yost from Canada, gave me this exercise about choosing a word for 2012. We’re getting up early tomorrow morning to talk on Skype to have our first delicious connection of the year, can’t wait to hear her word!

Mine is choose.

What I discovered over the holidays is that I’m pretty amazing at no longer reacting to life’s changes. I now respond with flow, grace and trust that all is well, that life is on my side, that I can handle anything, that change is good…

And yet…

I wasn’t choosing.

I wasn’t designing my own change.

I was rearranging the furniture.

And I’m a damn good decorator, but still rearranging the same circumstances to make them the best they could be… yet hadn’t lifted myself UP and OUT and OVER and INTO a new dimension of reality from which to CHOOSE what I wanted.

That scared me.

How could I know if I’d make the right choice?

It’s so much easier to respond like a sexy tennis player hitting all the shots with elegance… yet I hadn’t asked if I wanted to play another sport altogether!

This would require FAITH and letting go of the HOW.

Well that would require me walking my talk!

And yet I always walk my talk, and take responsibility, so out came my notepad and I began to design my year… design change, CHOOSE.

It was surprisingly easy and liberating… a part of me knew damn well what it wanted and was thrilled that I was giving it the attention, listening and honor it deserved!

I wrote and wrote and became very clear with what I was willing to HAVE. What I CHOSE.

My language began to change from wanting or hoping to choosing and having. This, in my opinion, is KEY to designing change… you can’t dabble, give it a try, see how it goes. You’re all in or nothing will change.

What’s cool is that I’ve created an amazing man. Yes, after 7 years single and two wonderful men I dated… my friend pointed out that I am calling this man my boyfriend… apparently, I had referred to my other gentlemen as ‘dating’.

Can’t you feel the difference from dating to boyfriend… the same difference from rearranging furniture to living in a new home… the same difference as wanting to HAVING and designing the change you CHOOSE.

And so I recommend:

  1. Decide you are actually going to CHOOSE what you are willing to HAVE
  2. Sit down and let your pen write, without editing, all that you’re willing to HAVE
  3. The item that feels the lightest, feels like it has a life of its own pulsing through you… take one step in that direction
  4. Refer to this choice not as something you want, not something you’re working on, but rather… I’m having it. I’m having health. I’m having my man/woman. I’m having support. I’m having ease.
  5. Return to this change you’ve designed by your choice to HAVE it often… journal, feel, allow, be curious, ask questions… What would it take for me to allow more ease in my life? My man in my life? Vibrant health in my life?

Be willing to take the reins back. To design what you choose to have. To be willing to not know the how and bravely, boldly and beautifully show up each day for the adventure of it. Because you can.

Know you are so loved and honored by me for doing so.

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