I suppose it’s better than a secretive relationship with porn, yet your partner’s addiction to his phone triggers the same sense of abandonment, that feeling of being left in the dirt for someone sexier, more exciting.
A recent national symposium of Neuro Scientists and Mindfulness Experts found the brain’s of recent teens who live on Facebook, have 15% fewer brain synapses for empathy than teens just 10 years ago. Thus this phone jealousy issue is real, effecting relationships, marriages and families.
Texting on Twitter uses only the right side of the brain, void of facial expressions, tone of voice and other empathy building connection enhancing activities found and developed in the right brain.
Thus a girlfriend feeling abandoned, jealous or left out is valid. Yet it’s more than just a feeling…potentially your boyfriend’s brain is dissolving it’s capacity to be present, connected or even interested in the intimacy found in face to face interactions.
So what’s possible? For boyfriends, husbands and fathers (and girlfriends wives and mothers!) LIMIT TIME WITH TECHNOLOGY.
There is time for emails and then it’s done. Unplug. Put down the Koolaid.
Focus on quality not quantity of time with loved ones. Practice active listening, hearing and repeating what the other says to enhance the feeling of being seen, heard and known. NEVER have phones at the dinner table, that’s sacred ground for building and deepening trust, connection and sharing of intimate joyful or even uncomfortable vulnerable truths.
Then personally, look at your own addiction to your emails and texts, how it fills a void of feeling important, needed, enough. Instead sit in the fire of no technology windows of time and instead be in nature, meditate, journal, exercise with a friend, make love, pray… all those ‘old fashioned’ things truly nourish your soul, your cells shifting from adrenal fatigue to delicious gratitude of the present moment.
And when your partner is on his or her agreed technology time, don’t set yourself up to be a victim by hanging around feeling abandoned. Use that time to fill up your self from the inside out, challenge yourself, live on your edge, explore your passions, trust and get to know your inner world… a place where you are supported by something Greater than your inbox.