We’re all about the top 10 restaurants, or the best wines, or the most affordable luxury travel excursions… and yet we’re not supposed to compare our relationship to our last relationship?
It’s almost impossible, if you ask me… yet that’s not a bad thing!
It’s a super way to be grateful for what you have Perhaps your last partner didn’t cook and now you’re making amazing meals! Or they did cook yet now you get to enjoy more restaurants or expand your cooking skills… see how no matter what you had, or have now, you can always be
grateful. And if what you have now TOTALLY doesn’t work for you, then change it or bless and release the relationship!
One area to be aware of that is detrimental to a healthy relationship is comparing out loud, verbally, in a judgmental way to your partner. Big no no. It hurts. Especially in the sexual department. “My old lover used to…” “Why don’t you xyz?” Ouch.
Something I learned from Dr. Dain of Access in our DVD, Your Delicious Body, is to destroy and un-create your relationship each day. What? Destroy it? Aren’t you supposed to try to stay together? I get it! What he means is to destroy all the judgments you have of one another. Like letting today go. Wiping the slate clean to see them fresh and new the next day. Not expecting them to be a certain way but being open with delight to the unexpected. Not holding grudges for the past, and being open to asking for what works for you moment to moment.
I really don’t believe one person is meant to fulfill all your needs. So to eliminate the frustration of not getting your needs met and comparing your partner to a past partner, which is totally unkind… why not ask, what would it take for me to have xyz with ease? And be open to it arriving in a multitude of ways, in a way you could never have figured out on your own!
Then you get to have all your needs met, AND be grateful for your partner with ease which tends to make things steamy and delicious on the home front!
And if having your needs met in a multitude of ways doesn’t work for your partner, then perhaps your partner is now willing to step up or realize that you’re going to fulfill your bliss not matter what and learns to give you more space to soar… so much is possible when you allow yourself to be ALL of you. Let me know if I can support YOUR specific situation and facilitate the change required for you to be deliciously happy right away!
Let’s connect! Lusciously yours, Allana xoxoxo