Archive for Questions and Answers – Page 2

First Date Sex

Courtesy of Digital Romance

LOVE your questions and this time I decided to comment on a study from which states “Men 74% More Likely to Have First-Date Sex Lead to a Relationship.” It might sound strange, but the results show men have a greater chance of ending up in a relationship after having sex on a first date.

I talk about making this decision to have sex or not, what’s motivating that choice, what does having sex mean to you, what does it say to your partner, and some powerful questions to ask so that you make the highest choice for you, your heart and your future.

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Intimacy on Unequal Playing Fields

Q:  I have met a really nice girl but here’s the problem – what do you do when you date someone that isn’t as “experienced” as you? She has only had 2 partners while I had, well – a lot more.
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Is Menopause Killing My Sex Life?

Coach Allana Pratt was asked: Do you think that experiencing menopause may be playing a huge role in my low libido?

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The Affair…What Happens After the Truth Comes Out?

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I have coached men and women for 17 yrs. And yet I don’t coach friends ever. Unsolicited advice just doesn’t work. Yet when a close friend revealed that every time she tried to talk to her husband about his affair, they got into a huge fight. So I encouraged her to write him a poem…

What she wrote took my breath away. It’s filled with a lot of anger. I’d say it’s even bordering on emasculation, which I’m totally against. And yet here’s the wild thing.

It worked.

He had cheated on her. Kept it secret for a year. Denied it until she proved it. He cried when he read it. He heard. I think the barriers between them were so thick that this was needed to begin again.



Trust violated.

Kicked in the gut, life yanked out of me.

Can’t breathe, I’m in the underworld, I inhale fire.

Lies dissolving my heart like acid on flesh.


Trust is gone, I’ve been dropped… falling… falling…

YOU, my hero, have violated our sacred bond of trust… I feel discarded, like garbage, into the realm of the valueless, has-beens, used, useless….

My spirit dulled from color to black and white, my future from a bright pathway of sunshine and possibilities… to a horrid massive creaking metal door slamming shut my dreams with you.

I trusted you to be a good man, honest and forthright.

I trusted you that even if you were scared, uncomfortable or uncertain, you’d sit in the fire, handle your shit and come to me.

I trusted you to speak up, ask for what you wanted, co create a life that worked for us.

I f’ing bragged about you! How humiliating…

Livid, disgusted, horrified… and now disheartened that you are not as strong as I thought you were, not as bold, courageous, kind or caring as I thought you were… like finding out OZ from behind the curtain, or seeing a noble fireman rescue a cat from a tree, only to see him kick a dog to the curb as he leaves…

You were my whole life, we were a team.

You buoyed me up, the banks of my river, the pole to my flag, the arms around me so I would never fall, the belief that come what may, you’d be there… and you’ve lied, broken trust and even cheated… you have let me down, my heart, my soul. How could you?

How could I be so stupid to live in hope and fantasy and not see the reality of you? Perhaps I loved your potential, who you could be, but who you aren’t. Perhaps I lived in avoidance and unwillingness to trust my instincts.

What’s miraculous is that through all this pain, I’ve cried and fumed, yet deepened my Self Love,  forgiven myself where I was in denial and strengthened my trust in my feminine intuition.

Can I ever trust you again? I don’t know. I have forgiven, yet I have not forgotten.

You haven’t stepped up.

Breaking trust is unacceptable.

Saying sorry isn’t enough.

Making it better through your own development as a man is the only possibility.

Making it better by me learning how I was a part of creating this, too.

I release all judgment, I let the past go.

I bask in the pure awareness of what I’m worth and what’s possible.

I welcome the growth required for us to begin again.

The choice is yours.

Dad Hates My Fiance

Q: My father doesn’t approve of my fiance and he keeps telling me I can do so much better. We are going to be married in less than two months and feel like this will cause so many problems once children are involved. Any advice?

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My Husband is Having an Affair!

Q: My husband is having an affair and he told me wants to leave me for her. We’ve been married seventeen years. We have three kids and we just moved because of his job but now I am wondering if it was because of the other woman. Why would he have us uproot our entire lives and then destroy it? Please help me save my marriage.

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