This question came in and it made me giggle. For in my experience it’s not that woman listen and men don’t, it’s that the WAY we communicate creates the results of the other listening or tuning out.
Communication is two parts… first the person has a communication, they say it. The second part is that it’s received, understood, not necessarily agreed with, just understood.
Thus if the first person communicates in a way the other can’t hear, communication fails! Do we nag? Do we force? Do we leave something out? Do we go on and on and on? Do we not even speak loud enough or connect with them eye to eye? Can we take total responsibility that it’s our job to get our communication across? Sometimes people just can’t hear us, they’re tired, pissed off or triggered by us and they shut down or shut off… yet we keep pushing and wondering why it’s not working. In fact one of my mentors told me if I KNOW someone can’t hear my communication, and yet I try to tell them anyways, and they end up judging me… that was an abuse act upon myself! I KNEW they couldn’t be with it… so instead ask What else is possible to create what I choose? Who else can I talk to? Read More →
It’s easy to love yourself when everything is working, you look great, money’s in the bank, and you’re on your game and in the zone.
It’s a wee more challenging to love yourself when you’ve gained weight, lost your identity, put everyone else first for so long that you forget what even brings you pleasure. It’s especially frustrating when you start to make your worth pleasing others, so your life is set up to put you LAST. Read More →
The biggest sabotaging factor that drowns sizzle out of long term relationships is the creating of a contractive box of what’s possible around their relationship. Each partner cuts off seeing the true core of their partner and instead ‘already knows’ who they are…this box could be full of expectations, past regrets, fear of making the other upset as in the past and concerns of being rejected like in the past.
“Sizzle” is really an embracing of the unknown with certainty it will bring expansion of one’s self-expression, authentic connection with another and simultaneous reverence for Life and what’s possible. Sizzle is easy when you don’t know the other… the world is your oyster. Sizzle seems a chore when you’re inside a small box of possibilities. Read More →
What does it take to be happy during all the stages of love?
I never set out to coach men, yet I find I am a perfect fit to awaken their confidence, nobility and sex appeal at any age from 22 to 72. What does it take to be happy during all the stages of love? The key at every stage is kindness to self and openness to what’s possible. Yet here are tips for each stage: Read More →
Don’t worry I won’t tell.
Yet if you pretend to yourself…
If you ignore or avoid this to yourself…
If you deny that you’re not happy…
THEN IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE.
Every relationship has ebbs and flows… yet the sizzling marriages know how to shift an ebb back into a flow again.
And they don’t just that something’s WRONG, or their partner is WRONG or they are WRONG… Read More →
There was a time when I wasn’t present to what people were saying. I was checking that my stomach was in, that I didn’t let them see my profile (pre nose job) and I most CERTAINLY would be very conscious of lighting when I undressed in front of someone… and making sure I showed the non-cellulite angle when making out.
That time sucked. Read More →