Archive for For Couples – Page 2

Why Does Dating Equal Devotion?

Q:  Is the concept of “testing the waters” lost?  Whatever happened to the freedom of dating before being in a committed relationship?  Why do some women believe dating means devotion to only them?

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10 Questions to Change your Marriage

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Is this meant to be?  Should we stay together?  What’s the point?  Is divorce an option?  So many ask me those questions and more – they want my years of experience to guide their hearts.  The first thing we do is the following practice that I would like to share with you.  Take a moment, read through the questions, close your eyes, breath, open them, and begin answering them, one by one.  If you find you are still lost, remember – I am only an email away.

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Why We Fall Out of Love

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I believe people fall OUT of love because their needs aren’t getting met. Either they feel controlled and unable to experience freedom or power… if it’s a personal relationship it could be because they don’t experience being loved or belonging… or it’s become all work and no play, no passion, no fun.

To make relationships work, both parties allow the other to do as they see fit… and that natural expression works for the other. One likes taking out the garbage and that works for both. The other likes making dinner and that works for both. As soon as you control the other, you can’t go play poker with the boys, or EVEN roll your eyes or disconnect love ever so slightly… it’s a downhill slope… so the idea is to find someone who’s natural ways complement yours so that both people feel freedom, power, fun, belonging and ultimately love.

WAY easier said than done, yet as soon as you stop controlling another and get curious, unattached and willing to truly GET another’s needs and allow freedom, either a solution appears or you bless and release the partnership with grace.

Blessings, Allana

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

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I’ll call them Sandy and Joe. Joe couldn’t slow down enough to be truly present and intimate with Sandy. Sandy’s frustrations about this made her feel lonely within the marriage and her dissatisfaction pushed Joe further away. Joe’s heart was so emasculated from his past marriage that if she was upset, he couldn’t really hear her without tuning out in fear. Sandy was angry that she left her job to be at home to be with Joe more, yet she felt ignored or abandoned by his lack of intimate connection.

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“Tools” for long distance love

I just finished hosting my third DVD for The Sinclair Institute who is one of the foremost sex educators online.

They certainly have many ‘tools’ to support you on your own side of the world to spice up phone sex.

Yet here is what has worked for my clients, videos. I wouldn’t recommend posting them on youtube of course, not even on ‘private’… and I wouldn’t recommend sending something overtly sexual unless you completely trust your partner… and yet one client did a two part video series for her man.

First he had sent her a package of lingerie. She opened it ‘on camera’ expressing her joy and teasing him to what was coming next…

Then she created a video of her dancing for him in several of the pieces… with a strip tease at the end.

He LOVED it and their texts got HOT, their emails more intimate… and a certain Skype ‘date’ very erotic.

What underlies all these solutions is the commitment to stay connected emotionally, sexually and intimately when your partner is away.

Remember just cuz you’re not IN bed with your partner each night, to still ‘hold space’ and stay connected. Distance can make the heart grow fonder…

Hot Dating Rituals!

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