Do you find that you are misunderstood? Is it common that negative opinions are formed based off those misunderstandings?
Here are a few behaviors that may be misconstrued and how to remedy them:
SEEMS ARROGANT (really insecure): When people are in their head thinking about what to say next, thinking about how not to be rejected, thinking on how to manipulate you so you like them… it comes across like they’re not paying attention, that they’re arrogant, that they don’t care… when REALLY they care so much!
SOLUTION: Be present. Stay in the moment. Breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. Listen without being three steps ahead. Just BE THERE and TRUST you’re enough. If they don’t want to date you, hire you, be your friend… that’s OK. It just means you’re not a fit. It’s doesn’t mean you’re wrong, bad or broken. Promise 😉
BEING PRESENT (vs. a people pleaser): Of course we want to make a good impression. Yet when we try TOO hard then we give away our power, say yes when we mean no, or become people pleasers who wear masks to survive.
SOLUTION: Decide that you’re enough. Choose to be a contribution to a situation. Trust that you’re bright enough to stay present to how you’re being perceived. Be courageous enough to ask clarifying questions if you sense they are not ‘getting’ you. Be inquisitive and curious by asking if you’re making sense or if ‘lands’ for them. Focus on being interested not interesting.
As an Intimacy Expert, I define Intimacy as In To Me I See. If there are parts of us we’re ashamed of, want to fix or even HATE about ourselves… we put up masks to hide. Then we can’t connect. Then people misunderstand our intentions. Then we feel separate and even at times… desperately alone.
Be willing to do your inner work to be HOME on the inside so you can be HOME connecting with others.