It’s hard feeling sexy and sensual when you’re a Mom.  You lose yourself in your family and forget what a beautiful, sensual being you are.  Here are my 5 secrets to help you embrace your sexiness;

1. Take it Easy on Yourself Before I learned any better, I would wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead, faced with all of the millions of things I had to do or wanted to do.  I didn’t realized that just by waking up I was enough.  I admit it, I was a perfectionist so focused on all of the things that I needed to do to improve myself; I had to exercise, I had to be a better Mom, I needed to make a difference, I needed to work on my patience, and so on and so on.  I was exhausted before I stepped one foot out of the bed.  That’s no way to live life.  So, I took a deep breathe, and began appreciating life.  Now, I wake each day grateful for the day ahead, I savor my son, my relationships and cherish my life.  Now I shine because I’m ME.  So don’t be so hard on yourself, lighten up and realize YOU are ENOUGH!

It’s so easy to get caught up in to do lists, worry about what you “should” be doing and not taking time yo work on improving YOU.  Want to be sexier, more confident and FAB?!  Then take these tips and start having more fun and living your best life.

1. Feeling vs. Reacting: Ever “freak out” in the grocery store because you’re stuck in a long line, or cry for “no reason”?  What’s that really about?  As Mom’s we are so busy taking care of everyone and everything else that we rarely (if ever!) take care of ourselves.  We just go through life and never take the time to check in with ourselves to see how we feel.  I know you’re busy, but what is more important than scheduling time for YOU?  There are a few small things you can do  – take a bath and reflect on your feelings and have a good cry, keep a journal and write down your thoughts before bedtime; have a million things running through your mind – write them down in a planner to get them out of your mind so you can simply BE.  Everyone has the same 24 hours a day, make yours more about YOU.  If you don’t schedule YOU time, it won’t happen and your inner voice won’t be heard. You’re worth it, so get scheduling!

For more tips on self-reflection and dealing with your feelings, read Cheri Huber’s book There’s Nothing Wrong with You.

2. You Can Handle Anything: Don’t you love it when your child has a tantrum at the shopping mall?  How do you handle that?  Do you focus on your embarrassment, and worry that everyone is thinking you’re a bad parent?  Resist it!  Take a deep breathe, don’t react to the judgments of others and affirm to yourself that you can handle this.  You’ll find it’s much easier when you’re not so concerned with outside forces.  It takes a lot to be a sensual woman in the midst of chaos, but you can have an open heart no matter what situation you face.

I’ve found that Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen is a great read to help you hold children accountable with their (and your) self-respect intact.

3. Wandering Eyes: How do you react when you’re out with your man, and you see him notice another woman as she walks by?  Do you immediately get snippy with him, or feel horrible about yourself?  Maybe you haven’t lost that last bit of baby weight, didn’t sleep well so you have bags under your eyes, or just haven’t had any real “me” time lately.  That’s no reason to feel bad or get upset.  Instead, react positively, and accept the moment as a gift.  The woman is your mirror.  You are a radiant woman too.  What about her do you find attractive and could you mirror in your own life.  Take it as a reminder to take better care of yourself.  Don’t be upset with the woman, your man or you.  Be happy, open up and let yourself truly shine.  You’ll be amazed how great the rest of the night will be.  Your man will notice how you shine and be memorized with you.

For some great advice on how to attract and keep a man capable of meeting what you most passionately yearn for read Dear Lover, by David Deida.

4. Silly is Sexy: As a Mom you want to raise well-mannered children, but you also need to bust out and have some fun!  Every once in awhile my son and I get silly and dance on our coffee-table, or make a fort and eat fun food with our fingers.  There’s nothing better than having some chicken fingers in our mock tent.  The other day the weather was great so we had the sprinklers running and I brought out some shaving cream and we had a huge battle.  It was so funny, we ended up having shaving cream Mohawks!  Then my boyfriend came home saw the fun and helped wash us off with the hose, and guess what?  At the moment when I must’ve looked crazy, he found me sexy.  You see, sexy is all about being free with your body and losing yourself and the moment exactly as it is.  So loosen up and go have some fun!

For some fun advice on how to live more fully, check out Fabulous Friendship Festival, Loving Wildly, Learning Deeply, Living Fully with Our Friends by my inspirational friend SARK.

Now, go out there and be the best YOU and Mom you can be!

Anyone remember the movie “Stella Got Her Groove Back” from 1998?  It starred Angela Basset and was all about a 40-something single mom stuck in a rut.  Her friend convinced her to take a trip to Jamaica for some much-deserved “me time.”  Stella met a very handsome 20-something man (Taye Diggs!) and boy did she get her groove back.  Well, not everyone has the money or time to go to Jamaica – and it’s not very likely that we’ll hook up with Taye Diggs either, so I’ve put together these 4 steps to help you get your groove back.